I’m in 9th grade now and I found that it was really hard for me to concentrate while studying. There is a chance I might have ADHD but I don’t know how to tell my parents. They are the kind of people that would tell someone with social anxiety to “just be yourself in front of others”. I am a grade-A student but now my scores are decreasing. I have a lot of missing assignments and get distracted easily while listening to my teachers. My dad told me that I was just being lazy. I want to finish my assignments but I keep procrastinating. To be able to concentrate more I tried playing ambience or soft music in the background while studying and it did help, but whenever my dad sees me doing that he will shout at me and ask me to turn it off. According to him the music only distracts me. I tried to explain that it actually helps but he never listens. If I do have ADHD I want to go to a doctor or someone who can help me with it. What should I do?
HELP YOURSELF
- It must feel frustrating to want to do well and find something just keeps getting in your way. Thank you for reaching out to us to try and help. Admitting that you need help is never easy – good for you for been so courageous in telling your story!
- Many people have struggled throughout the pandemic with their schooling- you are not alone. Have you tried to sit down with your parents and explain to them that you’ve always been a solid student, but something really feels wrong right now. You want to do well, and ask them to support you going for testing to see if there is anything you should be aware of, or that you or they can do to help. Make sure they know that you still want to do well, but that you’re reaching out for help.
- If talking to your parents doesn’t work, have you thought about talking to a counselor at school (in person or virtually) about your distractability? He/She/They may have some resources for you or contacts that you could reach out to for help. This may sound strange but another person that can help you is your pediatrician/family doctor. Many people start there when they need this kind of help.
CONSIDER THIS
- It’s often beneficial to prepare for any important discussion by planning out what you want to say. People often listen more when they feel you are presenting your side of the conversation rationally and honestly. You could write down some ideas first. Or maybe try practicing your discussion with a friend or another trusted adult to get ready for what you want to say to your parents.
- Have you tried looking for ways to center yourself before you start working on your schoolwork? Sometimes things like yoga, meditation, a quiet walk, etc. can help you center yourself and prepare for your next task. In the TOOLS section of this website I would also encourage you to consider using The Daily Time Management Chart and/or the Time Management Daily Schedule tool. If not these exact tools, consider using something similar to keep your tasks straight in order with their due dates and cross them off as you complete them. It will give you a great sense of accomplishment and help you stay on track!
- If relaxing music does help you, have you thought about moving to a quiet area and using headphones? This may help keep you focused on your space and not so worried about responses from those around you.
- Be proud of what you’re doing. You’re recognizing a problem for yourself and trying to work out a solution. Good for you. Keep your head up- you’ve got this!
