Hi, I am 16 years old and adopted and brought home as soon as I was born. It all started when I was about 13 or 14 years old. Fights every night about homework or just doing a chore. Yes, I know everyone says just do it and be done but I struggle with ADHD, ODD, and some other things that make things hard for me. Right now I have a boyfriend who I love a lot. My parents don’t like him at all and it feels like they are trying to separate us by not letting us hang out outside of school. My mom won’t stop nagging me about homework and school. I know I have to do it and I will get it done when I get it done. They are always trying to get up in my business. Yeah, I know that is what parents are supposed to do but this is non-stop 24/7. They are ALWAYS keeping tabs on me. We are strong Catholics. Recently I came out and told them I am Bisexual. My mom tried to tell me that I was not and I just didn’t know what I wanted. She doesn’t support it at all. All we do is argue. This is why I love to go to school. It allows me to be with my friends and boyfriend and away from my parents. I want to fix this problem and have a better relationship with them, I just don’t know how. I have talked to my 1/2 brother about this but I feel like I need more help. Can I have some help?
CONSIDER THIS:
- Not having a healthy relationship with your parents can make you feel alone and misunderstood. You are strong for tolerating their rules and expectations. even though no kid deserves to be unloved. It is common at this age for there to be some struggles between both the parents and the teen. The parent is learning to allow more independence while the teen wants independence right away. Try showing them a little at a time that you can handle your life by doing the homework and chores and see if they begin to trust you by giving you some more independence.
- If you need someone to talk to, you can head to the Teen Central website and click the Help tab to call one of the hotlines. Click the Stories tab to read other submitted stories and advice. You may also speak to a trusted therapist or school counselor.
- Knowledge is power. On the Teen Central website under the Tools tab there are plenty of downloadable resources such as 8 Signs of Healthy Relationships, 8 Signs of Unhealthy Relationships, Positive Reminder, Positive Talk and Yoga Pose among others. Click the Learn tab then Bullying to learn more about the subject.
- You can benefit from keeping appropriate boundaries. Know your limits, practice self-care, have self-awareness, etc. If your parents refuse to give you some time, try to find activities they will approve of. . You may head to your local library, park or stay in your room and listen to some music or do homework. Find some activities and hobbies you enjoy to help lift your mood.
- Spirituality can help you accept the things you can’t change, be more understanding and have a more meaningful life among other things. Prayer, meditation and yoga are spiritual techniques that can help you focus better and stay calmer in your day-to-day life. Even if the Catholic church doesn’t completely accept bisexuals, every human being has the right to practice a religion and be spiritual. You can go to the Teen Central website and click the Learn tab then Spirituality to learn more.
- Your parents may be unable to accept your bisexuality because they just want the best for you. Attempting to understand their feelings can help you have patience. They might worry about how others will accept you, or if you will have a harder life due to your sexual identify. Help them realize that you have accepted this and are oaky.
- Creativity can be used as an outlet to express the feelings you hide from yourself. Letting these out can help you be yourself more and be healthier overall. Activities include painting, coloring in a coloring book, drawing, creative writing, playing a musical instrument, cooking and clay sculpting among others.
- Volunteering can help you get away from your parents. Use your free time to helps others. You can try training as a counselor, helping out at a local shelter or reading to kids at the library. If you’d like to get more involved with the LGBT community, the Trevor Project might be right for you. Find more opportunities locally or online by going to websites like Volunteermatch.
- You can try having a talk with your parents about what bothers you and how to fix the problem. Tell them what is bothering you. Genuinely listen to what they say and speak without arguing. Write down ideas so you know what to say.
- Your parents might be more accepting of your choices if you prove that you’re a responsible individual. Some responsibilities are getting a part-time job, doing chores around the house or taking care of a pet.
- Try being positive by writing down what you’re grateful for, inspirational quotes or drawings in a daily journal. Repeat positive affirmations to yourself on a regular basis. Always be hopeful for the future to keep your feelings from spiralling out of control. This may mean reading a favorite book or spending time with positive friends who genuinely care about you.
- You can inspire yourself by learning more about human rights and the LGBT community in internet articles or books. Get involved by writing about it and submitting articles to blogs and magazines. This could help you and others cope with the negative side of bisexuality.
HELP YOURSELF:
- In what ways can using your imagination,creative ideas, and coping skills help you maintain a healthy relationship with your parents?
- How can focusing on having a positive mindset, being healthy and achieving goals improve your life now and in the future?
- How can being around like-minded people make your life easier?
- In what ways can toxic relationships negatively affect your mental health and physical well-being?
