This is why I hate parents

I’m in 6th grade!
I don’t have much IRL friends…
I used to be a very active girl, and I used to have the best parents in the world. And we would always have fun with my sister. But since I got to 3rd grade, my mom started to scold for some reason. I asked her what happened and I found out later that my parents got in a fight. And there was this one time, I had to finish my grammar H.W which I was confused on. Instead of helping me and supporting me, she just beat me up with a sandal and even with a hanger. And the scar just started to bleed. And now she keeps scolding me which really starts to make me stressed, and I can’t even concentrate on school, C.W, H.W. And because of that, I failed my term in school without an open mind, two times…
If I fail, my mom will beat me up, she even said something that hurts me and called me something too. She said, “You are just useless, worthless, hopeless” All of this. She even said she is gonna kick me out if I fail this term. How am I supposed to pass if she keeps on stressing me with her scoldings, and beatings!? There was even this one day she called me a bastard because the electricity went out while class was going on and I forgot to go get her for mobile data. She doesn’t know how much it hurts me, whenever I see her, I kind of start shaking but nobody can see it.
And also, she makes me feel insecure about my hair. She says when my hair is messy I look like a monster. She sometimes takes it as a funny thing, but she just doesn’t know she is making me feel insecure about myself, that’s why I always say I’m ugly. And I’m not that kind of person who is bubbly.. I’m not that social with people in real life school.. I always get overwhelmed when I have to answer or say something in class or to anyone outside school.
She says that she will scold me if I will be ​mean to any of my relatives. But she doesn’t even think about the one who raised me.
I honestly I don’t think I will be feeling safe around my mom, after my report card from school comes back. And I don’t really have the strength to call the police. I’m too scared to make so much of a big deal. My aunt does the same to my cousin sis, aka her daughter.
My mom also hits me with hard objects only such as : Books, my pencilcase, sometimes my charger, ofc sandal, hanger.
Should I call the police for help? I’m too scared to though, and I’m not really that strong compared to my mom. And I also haven’t been getting much sleep lately. Maybe only like 1-3 hours of sleep because of the stress of school and my mom.
My mom sometimes says i’m a weakling but who is the one making me weak after she beats me up?!
This is why I hate parents.
I’m also really scared to post this online cause i’m antisocial, and overwhelmed so… But I don’t feel safe so I just wanted to share my story. I don’t know if my life is a big deal but I just wanted to share it.

FIRST THINGS FIRST:

• Your safety is our number one concern. You have the right thought about wanting to get help from people in your community to keep you physically and emotionally safe. If the abuse is happening and you can safely call for help, law enforcement may be a good option for your immediate safety.  You can also contact the Child Help USA National Hotline. This is a resource that is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, in over 170 different languages in the US. Simply call 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453) or visit them online at childhelpusa.org 
• Telling your story must have been really tough for you to do, just know that you are not alone. This past year has been way more stressful for a lot of people, especially kids and their families. It might be useful to read this blog that was posted on TeenCentral about potential child abuse and where to turn for help. Click here to read the blog.
• If you are feeling scared to reach out to law enforcement, there are other people that are out there who can help. You talked about going to school, do you have any teachers or guidance counselors that you can reach out to? They are people who are required to make sure kids get the help they need when they are in unsafe situations. Try keeping those lines of communication open.

LET’S BUILD A SAFETY PLAN:

• First- think about a safe place you can go or someone you can call or text right away when or if your mom begins to get violent with you. This might just be immediately walking away, heading to a different part of the house, or having a trusted adult on speed dial.
• Second- try to think of five things you can do when you start to get overwhelmed. We like to call these things “coping skills” but they are just small activities you can do to help calm your emotions when they are getting too big. Here are some examples; sitting quietly and taking big breaths in and big breaths out for 7 minutes, counting backwards from 50, closing your eyes and listening to music very softly, or just taking a short walk in nature. Try one of these things a day. It may just help manage some of those emotions, help you sleep better, and physically feel better.
• Lastly- have you ever tried journaling? It is super helpful when trying to manage emotions, but it also helps organize your thoughts. This will be useful for you when you talk to someone about how your mom is making you feel, physically and emotionally. It might also be useful to write a letter to her. If you could tell her all the things you are feeling what would you say? Write that down!