Tired of it
Hi teen central, teen here who’s tired of being mocked and treated badly.
I’ve always tried to impress my parents to make my life easier, but now I just don’t know.
I’ve tried to feel happy with myself, but it always feels like they just want me to look and be better, no matter what.
I do really well in academics, and try to be everything they want, but it never works.
My sister on the other hand is 12 and is the golden child. She’s lazy, untalented, doesn’t do her work, and doesn’t do anything special when it comes to school. Yet somehow, she’s the favorite.
They mock me whenever I do something wrong, even if its minor. They just keep firing insults. My mom is worse. She threatens to take things, and insults me proudly, in front of my dad, as if she’s proud of it and wants to impress him, like I’m some sort of inside joke.
Sometimes I feel like I’ve reached my limit of stress, and I’ll bang my head against the wall or punch myself or swear loudly.
My mom tells me to shut up, not understanding where I’m coming from, but I always want to yell in their face, screaming about why I act the way I do and to tell them how much it hurts.
As a result of this parenting, I hide myself from people close to me, changing every aspect of myself to blend in, unnoticed by everyone. Sometimes I wish I could open up to the few people I trust, but it feels off to do so. So, I don’t. I’ve never really told someone everything about me, trusting them deeply and showing my true opinions. I’m genderfluid which makes my life more difficult. I never tell people what gender I am day to day, those choices make me sad, but that’s how I am.
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Thank you for sharing your story with our TeenCentral community. As someone who admittedly does not like to tell people “everything”, this was quite the courageous step. We see you are making the efforts to put your well-being first and we commend you for it!
THINGS YOU MIGHT BE ABLE TO DO NOW:
- Move forward with this positive momentum of sharing your thoughts and feelings. You made a first great step by reaching out to us. We hope you can find a meaningful connection with another supportive adult in your life. Consider, do you have other adult family members, teachers, counsellors, coaches, religious leaders, or family of friends that you could talk to? Perhaps they can help you facilitate communication with your family in the future or link to local resources. We have a great Conflict Conversation Organizer and a Fair Fighting Rules, on our TOOLS tab. The reason we like youth to find a supportive adult in their life is to help build resilience and self-advocacy skills to support you in the future when things get tough.
- Everything that you shared really sounds as if you might feel pretty devalued at home right now. That is a very difficult and hurtful feeling. Are you able to link to any other social outlets to continue on building the natural scaffolding/supports around yourself? Consider if you have any interests, hobbies, talents that you might wish to pursue in school or outside of school.
- If things get really rough, please consider checking out our HELP tab for crisis resources.
FOR ANOTHER TIME:
- It sounds like you are really an articulate young person, have you considered journalling to get some of your thoughts out? Or perhaps creating a story or writing a song? We have a blog post on the WHAT’S NEW tab called, “Journalling as a Coping Skill for Stress” that you may enjoy.
- If writing is not for you, are you interested in other hobbies such as painting, sketching, or other crafts. There are a ton of tutorials on YouTube for beginners!
- Lastly, please remember to take some time for yourself. There is truth to the value of being in nature, and in grounding yourself around life. Challenge yourself to learn new things about mindfulness in nature, yoga, or tai chi.
- Keep up the great work, your feelings are valid, and you are important! Thank you again for sharing. Be well.
