That describes my mind. I have the tools to use my knowledge, but I can’t get it like I want or need to. I am getting to a point where I have separate parts of my mind. The first one, I have no emotions, other than anger and sadness. The other is a mask where I have replicated the other emotions which I use to interact with the world. I think without emotions, yet I can’t stop introspecting about it. I know I’m driving myself crazy, yet I can’t stop it without destroying my personality. I feel that half of me is depressed yet it is the part I prefer to use because it is more in touch with the truth. Yet, I can’t express it to my parents because they use it against me, use it as ammunition to tease me or complain and mock me so I don’t have anywhere to release my thoughts. I am not writing, talking or on my computer(which I paid for with my money) because I don’t have privacy, or (supposedly) rights, because I live under their roof. They want me to go play outside or do stuff when I don’t want to do it. But I have to do it anyways. That’s enough for now.
CONSIDER THIS:
- It sounds like you are feeling depressed and angry. You want to be able to talk about it, but your parents don’t seem to be taking your concerns seriously and you feel that you are not given enough privacy or choice in your life and this is making everything worse.
- Feelings of anger and depression can become overwhelming. You should consider trying to do something about them. Some people do find that writing their feelings down is helpful. Sharing your story on TeenCentral is a great start. Please keep letting us know how things are going. Also, consider looking at some of the other stories on this site. You may find that learning about how others are doing and how they are trying to cope may help. If you ever find yourself being overwhelmed and need additional support, you can check out the “Help” page on the site, where you will find a list of resources and people who can listen to you.
- Some people also find that things like exercise, volunteering or other activities can help with their anger and depression. Consider what you do that makes you happy, whether it’s reading, cooking, watching TV or listening to music. The next time you feel yourself becoming overwhelmed by negative feelings, try doing something that you enjoy. It might help.
- Finally, talking to other people about how you are feeling can be useful. Consider an adult at school or a relative who you might feel comfortable talking to. Think about what you might want to say to them. Also, even though right now you don’t feel that talking to your parents is helpful, consider how you might talk to them- they may be concerned about what’s going on with you, even though sometimes you might not think they show it. Consider finding some time to sit down and have a serious talk with them about your true feelings. If you can explain how you are feeling, they might be willing to make some changes.
HELP YOURSELF:
- What are some places in your area that you can go to for help when you are having trouble coping?
- If you made a list of activities that you enjoy, what would be on that list?
- Who are some people, other than your parents, who could might be able to talk to about your situation?
- If you picked one thing about life at home to talk to your parents about, what would that one thing be?
- What would would you say to your parents to explain how you are feeling and how important it is for you to change certain aspects of your home life?
