I dated this boy for only about two months. We broke up, but I was pretty in love with him. The problem was that he was a very committed swimmer who plans to go to the Olympics. It was really hard to spend time together. We became involved romantically after only a week of knowing each other. I was more hesitant at first, but he really pushed for it and I had feelings for him. So everything moved pretty fast. He was really incredible and we connected really well. One weekend, I went to go see him swim at one of his meets. He had gotten very distant that week and I had gotten this feeling that something bad was going to happen. Next, he broke up with me because he decided that he couldn’t handle the pressure of swimming, school, and having a girlfriend. I was really upset about it. We tried being friends for a couple weeks, but we got into an argument, and then he started ignoring me completely. After about a month, I talked to him and we agreed to try and be friendly. However, a week later, I found out he made a rude picture about me and I got mad at him. I texted him about it, and he replied with a text; basically, telling me that I was a loser and that I didn’t deserve any friends or happiness. He was very clear that he was not sorry in that text, so I never replied. We didn’t speak for a few weeks after that. One weekend, he texted me saying that he was sorry and realized how awful he was and asked to meet in person so we could talk. We did and agreed to give being friends another try, and it’s been working for the most part. But, I’m still not over everything and I don’t think that he really wants to put in an effort to be close. This was my first real relationship and I reacted to the breakup really badly. I think he realized a few days ago that I’m still upset about it and we haven’t talked much since then. I guess part of the reason that I was so hurt was that he didn’t seem to be upset at all about everything that happened, and he doesn’t really seem to care much about me anymore. It makes me wonder if he ever did. I don’t really know what to do to get over this.
Consider This:
- It is natural to feel uneasy about becoming friends with your ex-boyfriend after his posting a rude picture of you and saying horrible things about you. Getting over something that upset you is a challenge, but you can begin to move forward.
- Try asking your ex how he feels about everything that happened in the past. Consider asking for an explanation about why he did what he did to you. This way you will know his emotions as well.
- Maybe you could try taking your friendship slowly. Since your romantic relationship began so quickly, it might be a good idea to get to know each other. Having a strong friendship is essential to many lasting relationships.
- Maybe your parents or trusted friends could give you advice on how to move forward with this boy. If your ex makes you uneasy, perhaps you could do group gatherings so you are not alone.
Help Yourself:
- What actions would your ex-boyfriend have to do for you to trust him again? How long would he have to do this before you trust him?
- Why do you believe your romantic relationship move so fast? What are some steps to ease into a relationship slowly?
- What kind answers are you seeking from your ex about your past relationship? How would you react if his responses are not what you want to hear?
