i am an recovering drug, anorexic, exercising and self harm addict i chose drugs to relieve my pain and struggles i lost my mother due to suicide 3 days before my 11th birthday. My mother passed 10-8-17… i was anorexic for a year and a half i was in 9th grade at 14 and weighed 75 LBS which wasn’t good . my doctor was very concerned and they didn’t know what to do. i refused medication. i hated the world. I was self harming to relieve all the pain. But nothing worked. Everything was temporary. it wasn’t enough so i stopped eating. I started skipping meals, exercising a lot. i felt the need, to lose weight i didn’t like my body appearance at all. I am still struggling with low self esteem and bullying doesn’t help at all. But i am doing better with it trying to ignore all the chaos and s__t
WAYS TO FURTHER HELP YOURSELF
- It sounds like you’ve been facing big challenges for a long time. Thank you so much for having the courage to reach out to TeenCentral and seek help.
- Losing a loved one so close to us can be very impactful and intense. There is a whole section on “Grief and Loss” in our “Learn” tab at the top of the site. It might be helpful to learn about the normal reactions to loss so you can see that …
A – you’re most definitely not alone and B – your reactions are NORMAL reactions to ABNORMAL and TRAUMATIC events in your life.
- If you are ever feeling unsafe or unable to talk to/express yourself to anyone, please reach out to the Suicide Prevention Lifeline. They are available around the clock, and you can contact them by calling 988. If you are more comfortable texting someone you can contact the crisis help line by texting “HOME” to 741-741. Someone is always there for you – just text the number and start a conversation.
- Is there someone in your life you feel safe talking to about how you feel? Maybe a close relative, brother or sister, neighbor, or a trusted friend? Being able to express yourself and get these feelings out can help you manage such overwhelming emotions. Support of any kind can make tough times feel a little better. You’d be surprised how much a face-to face conversation can really help – but it has to be someone you really trust!
WHEN YOU ARE UP FOR IT
Trying to find new ways to cope with our struggles is important in being able to work through them and ultimately grow. In the past you have found ways to survive but they have not been positive or healthy. Here are some ideas that may help you in a healthier way. You talked about exercise working as a coping skill—but maybe not always used positively. Seeking out a nutritionist could be helpful in maintaining a healthy weight as well keep you engaged in your hobby in a safe, positive way. Other ways that might help:
- Writing/Journaling—Talking to someone can be difficult, but writing down how you feel can be a great way to express your emotions and provide some relief from repetitive self-defeating thoughts. Under the “Tools” tab there’s an activity called My Support Plan that is an excellent way to begin getting your feelings down on paper!
- Wellness/Meditation—Deep breathing exercises are amazing ways to self-soothe and help during times of great stress and anxiety. Yoga is also a great way to incorporate our bodies and our breathing into a peaceful, stress-relieving activity. Much like weight-training, yoga requires discipline and consistency to reach higher levels. Here is a great starting guide for some yoga poses. And here is a cool yoga journal prompt!
- Hobbies/Interests—Finding other activities that help you feel at ease can make coping easier. Getting outside into nature or on the opposite end finding an online video game community can allow our minds to become more engaged with positive hobbies.
