Weekend Trip Incident

We left early Saturday morning and got there around noon. The first couple hours were uneventful. She,  her little brother and I spent some time fishing off this pier that extends out into the lake from their backyard. After we went back inside, her brother came across this pair of toy metal handcuffs his uncle had gotten him for his birthday. He’d left them behind the last time they were there. My friend and I took them and jokingly handcuffed ourselves together. It was only then that her brother realized he didn’t remember where he’d put the keys.

We searched the house for an hour, but didn’t find them. Finally, he remembered they were back home, five hours away. Now these may have been toy cuffs, but they’re the kind that can only be opened with a key. Like I said before, we were in a small town, so there was no local locksmith. Since these weren’t police handcuffs, there was no sense in calling them since they wouldn’t have a key. We tried picking the locks, but couldn’t manage it. Finally, our only options were to either cut them off or stay handcuffed together until Sunday.

Neither of us wanted to destroy her brother’s present since it was our own fault we’d put them on without looking for the key first. So we decided to own this boneheaded move of ours and told her parents we’d stay stuck together. They got a big laugh out of that, but agreed to let us do it.

We carried on with our plans and didn’t let the fact that we were stuck to each other stand in the way of having fun. Before returning home, we fished some more, hiked in the woods, made s’mores over a campfire. Heck, we even went into town and browsed at all these cool little mom and pop shops. We got some weird stares, lol, but that was okay. When we arrived back at her place in the city on Sunday night, we finally got un-cuffed after spending a little more than 24 hours that way.

Of course, when my mom found out about this, she got really mad and said I’m not allowed to go on any more overnight trips with my friend. She said it was irresponsible of her parents to let us stay stuck that way. She thinks it could’ve been dangerous. Like, how? One of us trips and falls and yanks the other’s arm out of the socket or something? Please. Don’t get me wrong. I’ve tried seeing this from her point of view, but just can’t. It doesn’t make any sense to me. Personally, we both thought the whole experience was kind of funny. I even told some of our friends about it on Monday and they all laughed. It honestly wasn’t that bad. The temperature was in the 60’s that weekend, so the fact that we couldn’t put our jackets on wasn’t a big deal. The hardest part of the whole thing was handling the bathroom issue, but we worked that out. Plus, I think we had an obligation not to destroy her brother’s present since it was our own fault we got stuck in the cuffs to begin with.

I really don’t want to never be allowed to go away with my friend again. What can I do to convince my mom to change her mind? What we did wasn’t dangerous, right?

CONSIDER THIS:

• Considering the consequences of your actions can make you feel uncomfortable and worried. You are smart for questioning whether your actions are right or wrong even though you did the best you could at the time.
• Your mom may be a little strict since you tried to take responsibility for your actions by staying handcuffed together. You are just a kid so you can’t be blamed for this mistake. Your friend’s parents were being irresponsible for leaving you handcuffed together. This could have become a dangerous situation since you both weren’t in control of your own bodies. You could have seriously hurt yourselves through no fault of your own. Anything that can happen often will. You were lucky.
• Since you’re both safe, it’s okay to laugh about the situation. Let yourself off easy since you’re only a kid.
• Even though your mother may seem overly strict, she’s just concerned about you. Try to see it from her perspective. She’s responsible for your well-being and a good parent knows you can never be too careful when dealing with others. A good parent makes every effort to ensure their child is safe.
• It seems like your mom is more concerned about how responsible your friend’s parents are. If they’re that irresponsible then next time you could become seriously injured in some way because of their foolishness. From a good parent’s perspective, you can never be too careful. So your mom probably doesn’t blame you that much, it’s your friend’s parents she’s probably worried about. Parents shouldn’t be leaving children in potentially dangerous situations and laughing it off. This is very irresponsible. They are older and more experienced than you and should know better.
• In order to gain your mom’s trust, you need to prove that you’re responsible. This may mean taking on responsibilities such as getting a part-time job, getting good grades in school, taking care of a pet or doing chores around the house. This will likely help you gain her trust. Actions speak louder than words.
• You may want to ask your mom how you can make the situation better. You can tell her exactly how you feel about wanting to continue to spend time with your best friend. The problem may be that your friend’s parents need to earn your mom’s trust since they’re more childish than they seem.

HELP YOURSELF:

• How can you make sure to stay safe if the adults around you aren’t responsible enough to take care of you next time?
• If one or both of you did get hurt while wearing the handcuffs, would it be okay for adults to laugh at this situation? Could one of you have done something to save each other without the help of adults or anyone else?
• In what ways could learning responsibility make you feel safer and make your life easier?