So about 3 1/2 years ago, I moved in with my sister who I now call mom. At the beginning she was great. She was nice, helpful, lovely to be around. But now, she’s the opposite. She’s hateful, not so great to be around, and overall mean. She never hit me, kicked me, threw me, nothing. But within the past 8 months she’s been way different. She’s been kicking me, punching me, yelling at me over the littlest of things, hitting me with a Tasting paddle (A long piece of wood with holes), hitting my back with a belt, hitting me with steel toe boots, pulling my hair. I just don’t know what to do anymore. I love her and the thought of leaving her is breaking my heart and she is trying to press unruly charges on me… What do I do? Is this wrong?
Find Some Help
- Hi writer. It seems like you’re going through a very difficult time. Thank you for sharing your story with our Teen Central community. It takes courage to speak out- be proud of yourself for reaching out for help.
- It seems like you’re in a very difficult situation because you love your sister, but physical abuse is never okay. As much as you fear not being around her you should consider talking to someone. Do you have a trusted adult in your life you can talk to? Think about it- a friend, family member or neighbor. Maybe someone in school such as a teacher, a guidance counselor or school psychologist. Someone you can express what’s been going on to. This is too much to keep to yourself. Also, talking to someone can help feel like a weight is lifted off your shoulders and make the tough times a little bit easier to cope with.
- If you ever feel like you can’t talk to someone around you there is the Crisis Text Line, they are available 24/7 by simply texting “HOME” to “741741.” Someone is just a text message away. You can also visit their website at crisistextline.org.
- Have you tried talking to your sister about how she’s making you feel and how she’s hurting you? Here at Teen Central under the “Learn“ tab we have a section on “Family” that has different topics about family and family dynamics. Check it out, it might help.
- Under our “Tools“ tab we also have many options to help you express yourself, speak out, organize your thoughts and feelings as well as make difficult decision. Check out this MPE Tool Kit that may help you cope with this difficult situation or Making Hard Decisions which may help you seek out help and why.
Consider This
Here are a few recommendations to help you cope when you are having big emotions and struggle to deal with them:
- Wellness/Meditation – have you tried deep breathing exercises or grounding exercises? They can help redirect the mind and focus on something positive.
- 5-4-3-2-1 Technique – name 5 things you see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell or taste, and take a deep breath in and out.
- Journaling – writing down your thoughts and feelings is a way to express yourself without verbal words. Sometimes putting the words together can be overwhelming. Writing them down can help alleviate that pressure. It doesn’t need to be organized or make sense. Simply write what comes to mind.
- try having a topic for a journal entry, ex: today I feel…, one positive/negative thing that happened today etc.
- Art – try using creative ways to express yourself as an outlet for pent up emotion when you need it. For example, crafting, collaging or adult coloring. You can buy them at dollar stores or print free templates online.
- Most importantly, abuse is NOT OKAY. Above anything else is your safety. If you don’t feel safe, it’s extremely important to reach out to someone and let them know. It’s not easy, but you’re worth it.
