Sorry for being a bother. So, I’m a 15 year old, and I think I might not be straight. This has been something that’s bothered me for a few years. Over this past year, I’ve gotten pretty close with a girl from school. She’s helped me through a lot and I don’t know what I would do without her. I’ve also found out that she’s also gay. She’s the best person I know and I think I might be in love with her. We sometimes hold hands when we are together, and we talk every day. I feel like my feelings could be reciprocated but I’m not sure. I want to tell her how I feel but I also don’t want to risk the friendship I have with her. My family is also very conservative with no idea about me. Her parents are accepting of her, which means more than I can tell. Sorry for the 3 am rant, but I’m just so confused.
Anything is greatly appreciated. Thank you so much!
CONSIDER THIS:
- Thank you for sharing your story. There are many others in your exact same situation. This is not uncommon at all. Your story gives other people the opportunity to talk about this too.
- Does your friend know that you might be gay too? Have you told her how important her friendship is to you and that you don’t want to risk losing her friendship? Letting her know those things first might open the door to talking about your feelings too, if it feels comfortable to you to do so at the time. You might want to pay close attention to your instincts and comfort level. If it is too uncomfortable for you to talk about, save it for another time when it feels okay. Knowing that she values your friendship just as highly might make it easier to honestly share feelings.
- It is okay to tell her that you love her. It is okay to love a close friend. Close friends often love each other, even if not sexually.
- While you may not be comfortable enough to come out to your parents just yet, do you feel comfortable being openly gay with your friend’s parents? It is good to have the support of people who you know will accept you for who you are. If you want to come out to your parents at some point in the future, talking to your friend’s parents first might be helpful for you.
HELP YOURSELF:
- What would be the very worst case scenario? Make a list of potential constructive ways to handle a worst case scenario. Being prepared against the very worst can eliminate fear.?
- Is it possible to gauge how comfortable your friend is with relationships without losing her?
- What are ways that you can strengthen your friendship to make it ‘crush proof’ so your friendship will withstand crushes one of you might have on the other?
