What should I do if my sister is dating some guy that cheats on her but lies?
Consider This:
- By seeking help with this situation, it shows that you care about your sister and she is lucky to have you in her life.
- Begin by sharing some of your knowledge with your sister. You might want to do little by little by sharing with her what you hear as it happens. This will allow her to take in the information as it happens, not weeks or months later, and she can manage it as she chooses. You might share that you know he was out on Friday night with someone else, then not really say anything until the next time. After a few instances, you might feel comfortable checking in with her to see how she is feeling about the relationship.
- As you do this, know that she will feel very vulnerable and she needs to know that you will be there to support her, not there to criticize her behaviors or actions. Try to avoid stating that you saw it the entire time, or wondered why she couldn’t see it. Love blinds us to the flaws of others and only allows us to see the positive. Sometimes, we need someone who we knows loves us, to gently point out the obvious.
- Also, know that she will probably be protective of her boyfriend, so try to just state facts and avoid making negative comments about him or sharing your judgements. This might just blind her to the real facts even more by defending him and his actions.
- If you feel this is too much for you to handle, find a trusted adult who you think would be willing to help you navigate this process. It could be someone in your immediate family, a relative who has some distance from the situation, a family friend, teacher, or church members
- Know that even if she does not accept the facts and feedback you have given her, you are planting the seek of thought for another time, when she might make a better decision. Don’t be hard on yourself if she does not make a change now. You should feel good that you were looking out for your sister and she has a choice to make now. Then, so something to get your mind off of the situation and enjoy your life.
Help Yourself
- How can you find time to talk to your sister about some recent observations?
- How can you let her know you are there for her as support?
- Who else can you rely on to help you through this process?
- How can you take care of yourself and your own emotions if she rejects your points of view?
