I want to die. Life is pointless. I can’t find a reason to live anymore. I don’t want to graduate or go to college or get married or have kids. I don’t want to do any of it. It’s so pointless. There is literally no point in existing. I am suffering on Earth so why would I stay any longer? I understand that it would hurt people but I literally can’t handle being alive anymore. There is no point at all and it’s all so pointless. “It’s going to get better” and “we’ll make it through this” aren’t helping at all. It has been years and nothing has gotten better. Life hurts so badly. The bad outweighs the good and always will.
CONSIDER THIS:
- It can be very hard to make it through the day when everything feels like an unpleasant struggle. It can seem like everyone is walking through life so easily and, meanwhile, every step for you feels like you’re carrying a 50-lb backpack. Every day you survive your struggles, no matter how small or big, is a victory. You are strong for every breath you continue to breathe and every day you wake up alive.
- Depression can make you feel like you’re in a different dimension. People don’t understand the struggles you face and you don’t understand the happiness other people feel. It’s hard to see outside of the negative mindset that you’re trapped in and therefore hard to imagine happiness and the beauty of life. Coming up with a reason to live can feel as impossible as a color blind person trying to see the color red– but red still exists! Similarly, you may blind to it right now, but there are reasons to live that you just cannot see yet. With some time, you may be able to find your reason to live.
- Try not to let society dictate your happiness. Your reason to live does not have to be so typical as “to have kids” or “to get married”. Checking such basic things off a list will not make you feel happy and fulfilled alone. If you determine what is important to you and what makes you feel like you have a purpose, you will find what your meaning is. You don’t necessarily have to have a college degree and your own family.
- Think small and work your way up– the goal is just to find something that gives you a reason to get up in the morning. For some people, it’s their pet. They stay alive so they can feed their pet and make sure they survive. Setting small goals for yourself can keep you alive and keep your mind off of overwhelming, big ideas that make you dive into a depressive existential crisis.
- Sometimes, big questions like “Why am I alive?” can make you feel like a puny ant in the middle of the universe. Keep yourself away from these thoughts, because they are unproductive and just drive you to see the negatives. Everyone on this planet is, figuratively, an ant but we all have a small purpose that, together, adds up to something big. Do not underestimate your importance.
- Seek help. Sometimes, the hardest thing to do is to ask for help. You may feel embarrassed, or like no one will understand you, but the worst thing you can do is suffer alone and in silence when there may be people who want to help you through your struggles. Seeking help can be as simple as telling a trusted adult or a parent. If you need more help, these adults can help you get professional attention. The most important thing to remember is that there are things that can be done to help you. You don’t have to try to fix this all on your own.
- If you are ever feeling suicidal, there is a 24/7 hotline you can call with people ready to listen to you.
1-800-4-A- CHILD (1-800-422-4453)
HELP YOURSELF:
- Why do you think you are feeling depressed?
- How are you feeling right now? Reflect inwardly. How can you relieve what you’re feeling?
- What can you do to get help?
- Who would be the best person to reach out to for help and why?
- What is something you wake up every day for? Could this be your reason to live?
