I’m currently in a relationship with somebody who might be abusive. He never hits me, but he does push me, and I’m not allowed to have friends or talk to anybody he doesn’t like. If I do keep talking to the people he doesn’t like he threatens to have them beaten up for it.
He hates the way I look and act and tells me I’m horrible and stupid and annoying every day. My friends have been telling me to get rid of him since we’ve been dating, but whenever I try to leave he begs me to come back, promises to change, and says he’ll do all the things I want to instead of making me stay home with him.
I know I should leave, but I don’t have friends anymore, because of him and I get lonely at night. I have been with him for almost two years and have been living with him at his house for almost the whole time. How can I stop missing him when I leave so that I can stay away?
CONSIDER THIS:
- You are very brave for writing your story. It’s ok to have mixed emotions about moving away from the relationship.
- Try talking to someone whom you trust, such as a parent or teacher. When someone touches you in the manner in which you’ve described it is considered abuse. It’s important to let someone know how you are being treated, because they will be able to provide you with support and help you end the relationship. If you ever feel you are in danger, then immediately call the police.
- It may be important to talk to a therapist. They can help you sort out your feelings and offer advice. Sometimes it may seem easy to end a relationship, but when dealing with someone who is abusive they can manipulate you, and therefore it’s important to seek out a therapist. A therapist will help you remain strong and provide you with good techniques. A therapist is available in the yellow pages or by searching online in your area.
- It may be helpful to talk to a friend or sibling whom you trust. Spend time with them and enjoy fun activities together. Perhaps shopping or going to the movies. If no one is available to spend time with, then try getting out for some exercise in a safe location or relax and listen to music that you enjoy. This will help you take your mind away from the situation. After a while you will miss him less and less and get stronger.
- Try joining an organization that can offer support and help you overcome your fear of missing him.
HELP YOURSELF:
- What if you talked to a parent or teacher and let them know what you are experiencing?
- What do you have to do in order to make changes now and move away from the relationship?
- What are some activities that you like that will help you take your mind off the situation?
