I spent all last night crying. I had just gotten home from my churches Easter service, and left my phone at home. When I got back, there was a message on my phone that one of my best friends was dead. And I’m pretty sure she committed suicide. Last time I texted her she said she wasn’t doing good, and when I asked what happened she didn’t respond for weeks. I guess she couldn’t of, because she was DEAD. How could this happen- why could this happen? Couldn’t she of stayed a little longer- it wasn’t her time to go yet. Oh my god why have you done this to me? Why? She didn’t deserve this. I don’t know what to do- she was my best friend from the mental hospital and now she is gone forever and I…
THINGS YOU CAN DO RIGHT NOW
- We are so glad that you have reached out to TeenCentral and shared this story with us. It is simply unimaginable, unfathomable what has happened. There are simply no words to make better what you are going through right now. We hurt with you.
- Here at TeenCentral we’ve talked to many young people and adults about suicide after it has happened. And almost always we want to make sense of something that makes no sense. Almost always we asked the question, “why“? And the answer to that question is very specific for every person who has ever taken the act of ending their own life. Their pain was so great that they walked this path for some reason that we may never understand. Of course we wish your friend would’ve found some way to survive this pain, some way to go on and live. And we know that if your friend were here right now they would want their friends and family to do that – to live – even though it may seem so hypocritical.
- Suicide is a symptom of mental illness, most often depression, but could be many other illnesses as well. It is not just a random thing that happens. This is why treatment for mental illness is so important. This is also why organizations and websites like TeenCentral work so hard to help get mental health services to people everywhere, so that they can survive the difficult circumstances of life. The grief of losing someone this way can even cause mental illness. When managing the loss of another it can be hard to express our emotions and have the energy to take care of ourselves. TeenCentral has an extensive amount of information on Grief and Loss through the learn tab. Please take a quick look at this for yourself, because taking care of yourself right now is extremely important.
- It’s also a good idea to try to talk to someone in person about how your feeling. Do you have a close relative, coach, trusted teacher, counselor, or religious leader you could talk to? They might have some knowledgeable insight and possible able to relate to help you. Do you have a therapist, or have you ever had a therapist? If so, now might be a really good time to talk through this situation with someone professional. We know that losing one of your best friends in this way has the potential to really make waves in your life, and not in a good way. So please consider reaching out.
WHEN YOU ARE READY
- Through the Grief and Loss tab there are more sections on how to handle the stress of losing someone. There is a tab about Helping Yourself which include communicating to others what you need, getting support, and ways you can comfort yourself in a healthy way!
- There is another section on TeenCentral that might be useful to you and that is our Remembrance section of Grief and Loss. There are a couple different things you can do that will help you cope with the loss of your friend and ways that you can positively remember her. Doing something in their honor or just spreading awareness about suicide could potentially help someone else that is struggling. Remembering positive memories of your friend is the first step in a really good direction of healing.
- Most importantly if the situation brings you to a point of feeling any dark or scary feelings of your own please make sure that you contact someone immediately. Our help page has many hotlines that are very reputable, but the one we would recommend the most is the Crisis Text Line. Just text “HELLO” to 741741 and strike up a conversation. They are available 24 hours a day and seven days a week to people who are in crisis. Don’t suffer alone.