Hey teen central. It’s me again. Please help because I really can’t take it anymore!!!
So, I’m on vacation right now with my family, and honestly it’s so hell. Like, my dad theaters to send me back to California, and he said the second time that he honestly meant it. So, like, the thing is too that school is coming up, (you may think no, that’s not for another month! But trust me, I am already so worried about school) and I’m having trouble deciding about classes and extracurriculars, and I really think my parents should , you know, actually help me plan things out, but they’re not being very helpful. Their help has been literally restricting me from everything afterschool related since they say it’s for my mental health. Which is true, since last year I tried to be in literally everything and I ended up doing nothing and my grades were terrible. But, I feel like it’d be nice to have a conversation with them about my extraccuriculars and interests that doesn’t involve them saying no. I absolutely HATE the fact that when I wanted to audition for the school play, i basically had to disobey them and do it anyway. Well, not like that but they, especially my dad, were really against me doing theatre, since my dad said it’s hard to become an actor. Like, this is what I don’t like: Sure, it’s hard to be an actor, but if I have an interest in it at least let me actually try it! Give me the resources I need in order to succeed!!!! It’s like, my parents only support me when they know it will pay off in the end. Like, screw that!!!! I want to explore my interests in order to know if I can actually do this or not, not be chained to interests I’m only good at for YOU to invest in me like I’m some sort of stock! Like, going back to the theatre thing; when I started, and when I performed, they were REALLY supportive after that because they say how good I was! Honestly, that nice, but why couldn’t I have your support from the start? In order to grow and thrive, a plant needs to live in a nurturing environment, and it seems like all I’m doing is growing in the face of adversity, and it’s really killing me. (That last statement was more referring to school that at home.) so, like, I feel like if my parents really listened to what I wanted, and my interests, instead of all the technical stuff like schedules, I might really have a chance to grow into an incredible person!! It’s like, I have to SHOW my parents I’m good at something in order for them to WANT to believe in me and support me! I told my dad this, and he said, “of course!” I hate this so much because it’s like, “WHY?” Why did I have to struggle, fight, and LITERALLY disobey (OK not really disobey but it feels like it since my dad told me once theatre would be no good) in order for them THEN to realize I’m good and believe in me and support me? WHY SHOULD I SUFFER SO MUCH IN ORDER TO GET SOMETHING I SHOULDNT HAVE TO WORK FOR IN THE FIRST PLACE???? Literally, It’s hard to live sometimes. I’m lonely at school too. I may say I have friends, but I really don’t, at least not the kinds I want. I wish my parents fully supported me in whatever I do without me having to go through hell and back just to get them to sign my fucking permission slip to do whatever it is I want to do. The thing is, my parents say they fully support me in whatever I want to do in life, but right now ( they didn’t say this, this is what I think) they’re not willing to put in the hours in order to get me there! My parents say I’m not the center of the universe. Am I seriously asking for too much? I’m self centered and narcissistic as they say, and even my therapist said I showed narcissistic behavior. The thing is, when my parents say “No” to an activity, I know that they actually CAN take me and IT CAN HAPPEN since literally they HAVE made the time BEFORE TO TAKE ME TO THINGS, SO WHY CANT THEY NOW???!!! It’s like, I know they can so why can’t they just say yes and let me do it? Even for swim, which I will now be on varsity this year, it was SO HARD to get them on board with the schedule!!! It’s always the schedule, always the times, why can’t they actually SEE what I’m trying to achieve and then work THEIR schedule and MAKE TIME LIKE I KNOW THAT THEY CAN???
Alright, they’re about to wake up so I’ve got to go.
Thanks again Teen Central,
-Hopeless Teen with Parents that think she’s a stock on Wall Street!!!
HELP YOURSELF:
- WOW! It sure does sound like you’ve got a lot going on!! Thank you again for writing in! All of us here at TeenCentral hope to be able to provide some guidance and clarity for you.
- You mentioned how you are going to be on the varsity swim team this year! That’s amazing! Congratulations!! That must mean that you are old enough to drive? Have you spoken to your parents about this? If you were to get your drivers license you could potentially work toward purchasing your own vehicle and be able to get yourself back and forth to all your events.
- If you are ever feeling so overwhelmed in the moment and just need someone to talk to, consider reaching out to the Crisis Textline. Volunteer Crisis Counselors are available 24/7 to help support you. You can reach out to them by texting “HOME” to 741741, or by visiting their website at www.crisistextline.org. They are even available on WhatsApp.
- Do you have any adults who you feel comfortable speaking with about this? How about an older cousin/sibling? Aunt/Uncle? Or even a teacher or coach?
CONSIDER THIS:
- Head over to our Tools page and check out some of our resources and activities that may be able to help you work through some of these situations. Start with Support Plan to help you identify who you have standing in your corner and coping skills that may be beneficial and see where that takes you.
- Talk with your parents about how you feel. The Conflict Conversation Organizer and Fighting Fair resources on our Tools page can help with this.
- Next I would take a look at the Family section in our Learn tab to help guide you with these conversations with your parents.
- Remember that you are stronger and smart than what you may realize. You are just currently stuck in the middle of these challenging situations and need the chance to breath and think about everything logically to figure out how to address them. You’ve got this!!!
GOOD LUCK!!
