Stories

Healthy Boundaries, Healthy Relationship

By July 27, 2022No Comments

I don’t know how to Feel.
A lot is going on in my life right now, but my ex girlfriend makes nothing easy. She crosses a line a continues to cross it. Tonight I finally spoke up, when she was touching me inappropriately without my permission. After she knows, I do not want it. I say no continuously, and she doesn’t care. I asked her to at least see if she’d be honest as she touched me twice. “Did you touch me? ” “no” she answered. I verified that one meant sexually. She kept denying it. I won’t lie it felt nice, but I didn’t want it and I hate myself for that, and letting it happen. Does it even still count as assault. I feel like a failure. I don’t even know if I’ve been sad because I’m some twisted persons who felt nice. But I did not want it, I wish she would just leave me alone. I can’t tell anyone or I’ll be taken out of my home, and I don’t want people to hate her… Idk I wish I didn’t choose this. There’s more stuff that makes it so uncomfortable, but I’m to scared to say it. I hate myself ultimately.

Help Yourself:

  • This sure does seem like a confusing situation that you are in! Thank you so much for writing to TeenCentral for help!
  • Let’s start by stating that YOUR VOICE and YOUR BOUNDARIES do matter and should always be respected. They should be respected those around you as well as respected by you yourself. Remember that No means No, and silence DOES NOT mean Yes. Do you have any close friends or family members that you could go to for help? Perhaps a teacher or counselor that may be able to coach you to have a conversation with your ex-girlfriend and establishing healthy boundaries with her and with yourself?
  • Take time to reflect on where you are as a teen. The teenage years are full of confusion and strange new feelings, thoughts, views, and beliefs. It is perfectly normal to have these confusing feelings, especially pertaining to romance and sexual experiences.

Consider This:

  • Take time to check out the Relationships section under our Learn tab on our website. Here you are provided examples and signs of Healthy Relationships VS Unhealthy Relationships.
  • If you navigate to our Tools section of the website, you will find plenty of resources and information about Support Planning, Social Skills, and even guides for Making Hard Decisions.
  • Like stated above, this is a very confusing time in your life. Perhaps you could try joining new clubs/sports at school or in your community. There are plenty of teenage groups and support groups of all kinds. Try visiting your local library or speaking to a counselor at your school for more information.
  • If joining a new club, team, of support group is not for you then perhaps you could try journaling. Journaling is a great way to sort your thoughts and feelings and tends to help you better understand them. Journaling could also help to figure out and establish your own personal boundaries with yourself as well as with those around you.