Stories

I am so confused and I don’t know how to heal…

By April 8, 2022No Comments

Therapy isn’t working. Hi again. Im gonna write a lot. I just came home from a mental hospital, and liked my therapist before I went. But without my knowledge, my mom switched my therapist because it was getting to expensive. The thing is, the therapist I was going to before the hospital was so much nicer than my current one-that I have only seen once so far, but am forced to go to now because of some financial problems. I was just starting to heal when I was ripped out of my old therapist, and now I am going to a new one that does not understand any of my problems, and uses a kind of therapy called play therapy that I do not like, but it is the only kind of therapy she was trained to do. So I have no one else to go to, and she doesn’t even understand my self harm, PTSD, anxiety, depression, my suicide attempts, or ADHD and does not take them seriously enough. I know I have only seen her one time so far, but I just really don’t like her. But, since I now have no other option…. I’m stuck. I don’t know how to heal now, I was just starting to heal with my old therapist, and now I am not. I always like to have closure on things, but I didn’t get a say in which therapist I would go to. Also, speaking of that, I’m currently in a long distance relationship and am having a hard time communicating with the person, I’m not sure if we are still dating, or if something happened to them- or they never did love me at all- I don’t know. I have too much in my mind, and at this point I just feel too messed up and broken to heal. The hospital didn’t heal, therapy didn’t heal, I know that stuff takes a long time but i just can’t deal with this anymore. I feel like there’s something even more wrong with me other than anxiety, depression, PTSD, ADHD and self harm. I am just so confused and I don’t know how to heal, nothing is helping. Every time someone tries to help it never works. I’m hoping that you guys could help…. Not like anyone would be able to anyway.

THINGS YOU CAN TRY NOW:

  • It seems like you’re going through a really difficult time right now. Thank you for having the courage to share your story with the TeenCentral community despite feeling so overwhelmed.
  • If you are ever feeling unsafe, and you cannot talk to your therapist or parent, please reach out to the Suicide Prevention Lifeline. They are available 24 hours a day, you can contact them by calling 1-800-273-8255 or https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org. If you would rather text someone you can contact the crisis help line by texting “Hello” to 741-741.
  • Consider that it takes time to build a therapeutic relationship, is it possible that this new therapist may have some new or exciting insight that you had not thought of previously? We sympathize with the loss of the therapeutic relationship with your previous counselor. It sounds as if you had done much work together and you may be anxious about this new person. We encourage people to work with their therapeutic team and try new coping skills.

HELP YOURSELF:

  • Try an act of optimism. The power of positivity can be quite liberating. It sounds as if you mention a lot of deficits, problems, feelings of being overwhelmed. There is little mention of your positive attributes or positive people, experiences in your life. Consider making a list of things that are positive. Likewise, you mention in some ways that some things seem out of your control. Consider making a list of things in your life you are in control of or that you have the power to change. While we cannot change others, we can make some decisions regarding ourselves and how we chose to live. For example, consider advocating to your therapist about how you feel regarding therapy as it may accomplish more talking to them rather than only sharing your feelings here. This may feel liberating.
  • While sometimes we all need a little help from other positive supports, the lionshare of the work comes from within. If you feel your head is swimming with much, think about keeping a note pad handy to make lists or write journal entries. Consider sharing these lists and thoughts with your therapist. They need to understand what you are thinking and feeling to help guide you toward healing, but again you must be prepared to do some of the work. Just like when our body does not feel well, we have to heal and strengthen our body we must give as much care to our minds. It takes patience, practice, and effort. Be well.