My birth mother was a hoe and ended up giving birth to me when she was 19. That’s when all this hell started. She gave me to the person that adopted her when she was 7. My life was fun and normal and I loved being there and even called the person my mother until I was 5. That’s when she started beating me and throwing things at me if my room wasn’t clean. She would wake me up early in the morning and yell at me. And it got even worse as I got older. I have a weight issue. One time when I was 10 years old, she came into my room, yelling about how I ate something that I shouldn’t have. She called me horrible names and laughed about me being fat. She said no one could ever love me and told me to take off my clothes. She took pictures of me and laughed about my weight. And it went downhill from here. She would get mad at me every day for something, mostly my room being dirty. I’m not the best kid but I try in many ways. And every day she would bring up my weight. For 4 years this went on, each year worse than the other. You know after a while you’d think I’d get used to it but I don’t. I feel a great pain from it every time. And I can’t leave because I have a younger sister and don’t want to get split up at a foster home. So, I’m stuck here in this hell.
THINGS YOU CAN DO RIGHT NOW
- You seem to be dealing with some extremely difficult times and have been for a while. Firtst, thank you so much for reaching out to the TeenCentral community—we are happy you are here. Connecting with us is an amazing way to advocate for yourself and hopefully gather tools that can help you improve your situation!
- Is there anyone directly in your life you could talk to about the things you’re going through or how you’re feeling? This could be someone you haven’t tried talking to before- someone like a trusted teacher, coach, or close family friend/family member. Just being able to confide in someone and express your situation and feelings face to face can do a world of good. If you’ve never tried this before it may be worth considering.
- If you are ever feeling unsafe with yourself or like there’s no one to talk to about how you feel, please reach out to the Suicide Prevention Lifeline. They are available 24 hours a day 365 days a year by dialing 988 or you can also text “HOME” to 741-741 and start a text conversation if that’s more comfortable. Help is literally a text away.
CONSIDER THIS
- There is an excellent page on our website on body image. Our self-esteem is so incredibly important for maintaining positive mental health. No one should be making you feel negatively about you or your body. You should reach out to a trusted adult like a schoolteacher if verbal/physical abuse is happening/has happened. Behavior like that is unacceptable in any form.
- If you think you may be experiencing emotional, psychological, physical or sexual abuse there are ways you can help yourself. Reference THIS ARTICLE for steps to take if you are in this situation.
- In our “Tools” section, there are some very helpful exercises that might work for you such as the conflict conversation organizer. This can help you organize your feelings and also gives you an area to write a letter to the person you’re struggling with. There’s also an informative article on families on our website here.
