I feel alone, (I tried to write this story, but it didn’t go properly, here’s a new one.) I’m 15, I’m an artist, I’ve had a somewhat popular social media presence. Recently I’ve quit for the better, but now that I don’t contact anyone anymore, I’ve been alone. Nowhere has felt like home, I don’t have anywhere stable. My dad is an abuser and would threaten me over the smallest things, and if I dared to show emotion although he has told me to ‘have emotion’ I fear I’d get hit. Back in the day before I stopped going, I’d cry, because I feared my own father so badly, but I used to have to bottle up emotions because I couldn’t do anything without being controlled. My mom’s house isn’t as bad, but it’s still horrible. My mom expects a lot from me, but yet I feel I get little in return. I do so much for me and her to continue having a mother-daughter relationship, but she only acknowledges such rarely. She always tells me to conversate with her, but when I try, she passes me off and always ignores me. She doesn’t ignore my brothers or even my sister. I’m the only one who gets the silent treatment. Ever since I’ve left my abusive father, my mom has started neglecting my emotions. Sure, my mom provides for me, a house, clothes and food, but never for my emotions. She’s even wanted to send me back to my abusive father/ to foster care a few times when I was depressed, so my mom isn’t good for me. My mom also cares more about a guy than me. Every day I see her calling him, or even after I try to talk to her, she phones him over and over. My brother expects a lot from me if I want to move in with him, although he doesn’t seem supportive of some the things I want in life. My sister hasn’t moved away, but at the moment she’s been on travel, so I’m alone, and my only other brother is away. I’m not actively in contact with him because he’s still in the navy. My grandma’s house isn’t safe, my mom was previously abused there and my grandma potentially isn’t safe for an LGBT individual such as myself. I’m alone and don’t know what to do. I have plans to move away and start my life in a new country, I have a job to support myself and also food-stamps to support myself as well. I just want my mother to be there for me like she used to be, but my mom hasn’t listened very often and she goes back to her old habits. What do I do?
Thank You for writing in and sharing your story with the TeenCentral community. We are sorry to hear you are coping with such difficult emotions and decisions. We hope you find some use in sharing your story and listening to some thoughts.
THINGS TO CONSIDER NOW:
- Experiencing strong emotions such as loneliness can be difficult for someone, especially when it feels like there is no one to support you. You are strong for reaching out to seek help. It takes a lot of courage to do so.
- Most importantly, it sounds like you want connection. Your focus seems to be on your mother right now- have you tried sitting down with her in a neutral area to discuss your feelings with her?
- The STORIES tab has stories submitted by other teens and answered by counsellors. You may find stories from other teens going through similar situations. Knowledge is power.
- You can click the LEARN tab, then Family or any other topic that you feel might benefit you in this situation.
- The TOOLS tab has many helpful resources you can download to help you be more positive, learn yoga and more. Besides this, you may want to consider speaking to a trusted therapist, school counsellor or spiritual leader to help support you.
- If you need someone more immediate to talk to, or you can’t think of someone in your life now, you can head to the Teen Central website and click the HELP tab to use a hotline or textline.
WHEN YOU ARE FEELING UP TO IT:
- Express yourself creatively: Write in a journal, paint your feelings, or compose music. The great thing about creativity is it’s non-judgmental. There’s no right or wrong when you create. You can feel free to express yourself.
- Make art: Do you like to paint, sketch, doodle, or try digital art—let your imagination run wild.
- Craft something: Maybe design a collage, or try origami. Have you tried scrapbooking?
- Practice self-care: Do things that make you feel good, like exercising, meditating or reading.
- Meet new people: One of the best ways to meet new people is to go to places that YOU enjoy. That’s where you’ll find people who probably have similar interests to yours.
- Most importantly– congratulate yourself. You’ve asked for help, and you’re looking for ways to move forward. That’s not easy to do- I hope you know you’re worth it.
