I am in high school – yr 7- and I have a massive crush on a yr 10
THINK ABOUT THIS NOW:
- Thank you for writing in to our TeenCentral site. It sounds like you may have a crush on an older person from what we gather. If we are understanding correctly you are in the equivalent to a US grade 6 which would make you around 11-12 years old and this older person is a year ten or the equivalent of a US grade 9, making this individual about 15-16. Perhaps we are misunderstanding though as you say you are in high school and year seven is typically still Key Stage 3/secondary school (middle school). So please forgive us if we misunderstood your story.
- While four or five years might not seem like a big age difference, the contrast between the development in an 11-year-old and a 16-year-old is quite massive. In some states/countries engaging in a relationship of this type could have serious social, moral, or even legal consequences. While dating is one thing, the age of consent for any physical intimacy is another, for example; in the UK anyone under 16 cannot consent to a physical relationship (www.childline.org.uk). The age of consent is sometimes even older in certain states in the US. Consider, that during the formative years of our growth, a few years can be like night and day when looking at: physical development, cognition/thinking, language, emotion and socialization.
- Such an age difference opens up at least on party to possible unhealthy boundaries, peer pressure, and or abuse. One of the best resources for learning about healthy relationships and teen dating violence is LoveisRespect. This website offers information on healthy teen dating, who is at risk for dating violence, and how to link to help if needed. You can find them here:
- Call: 1.866.331.9474
- Text: Loveis to 22522
- Chat online: Visit www.loveisrespect.org and click “Chat Online Now”
PERHAPS LATER:
- Challenge yourself to better understand what are healthy boundaries for you: physically, emotionally, spiritually. Healthy boundaries will help you on your pathway with friends, family, future employment, and eventually when it is time to date. Check out our TOOLS tab and see if there are some things that might help you on your journey. We have ideas to help with tough decisions, dating, and wellness.
- Focus your mind and your time on building positive supports and enhancing your positive experiences. You have decades ahead of you to meet the right person, focus on learning who you are and which of your friends and family you can count on. Spend time doing things with these people, take a walk, share a meal, play a game, or just listen to music and laugh with good people. Like dropping a pebble into a pond, positive interactions/experiences will ripple outward through your life. You can find out more on our LEARN tab under wellness.
