When I was 10 I was sa’d multiple times by my ex friend. Ever since I haven’t been the same. Whenever someone touches me, even if in a friendly way, I get slightly uncomfortable. I’ve always been a sensitive person and relied on others. Recently my urge to commit has been coming back I’ve attempted maybe around 5 times since I was 10. My best friend is distancing herself from me and I want to stop depending on her, but it’s so hard. How do I stop? I want to get help but I’m too scared to ask my parents. I just want help so I can get medicine so I don’t feel this way anymore. I feel so empty constantly no matter what. I struggle with motivation, whether its with brushing my hair, eating or something as simple like getting out of bed. I used to self harm as a coping mechanism but I’ve been trying to stay clean. All of my friends/family think I’ve been clean for the past 2 years. I don’t want to disappoint them with the fact I was never clean.
FIRST THINGS FIRST
- Talking about abuse of any kind takes such a great amount of courage. Thank you for believing in yourself enough to reach out for help. That’s a huge first step.
- If your mental health symptoms of depression, anxiety and self-injury ever become more intense – intense to the point that you consider or even think about of suicide …stop what you are doing immediately and DIAL or TEXT the National Suicide Lifeline at 988 or chat online at 988lifeline.org. This resource is available to you 24 hours a day 7 days a week 365 days a year.
- You stated that you want to talk to your parents but you’re scared. Working up the courage to have difficult conversations with out loved ones usually takes planning. You may want to take some time and write down what you want to talk about, and then set up a family meeting with your parents. Think about what you want to say, and how to say it so that it conveys exactly what you’d like them to know about how you’re feeling.
- Do you have another trusted adult in your life that you can talk to if you’re struggling to talk to your parents right away? You may want to consider reaching out to a counselor or therapist. Abuse is something that oftentimes requires more than just one person to get through. Counselors and therapists are trained to work with you and support you as you figure out how to move forward in your life. They also can help you get the right medication if it’s needed to help you.
WORKING THROUGH THE ISSUES
- Have you ever tried going to a walk in clinic? You may want to try searching online to see if there is one near you. These are places where you can just walk in and talk to someone and receive an assessment of what you need.
- Have you ever tried journaling? It’s a great way to write down what you’re feeling, especially when you’re feeling sad or depressed, and reference later if needed. It could help you narrow down the days/ times/ situations that seem to be hardest for you to navigate.
- Always keep setting goals for yourself. Having goals gives you something to look forward to. In our “Tools” tab on Teen Central, we have a Goals Dreamcatcher that could help you set some goals for yourself.
- Always remember- Keep fighting for your happiness. You’re worth it.
