I think I was raped by two men at the same time…
It’s my fault though, right? I agreed to go to hang out with them, smoke weed, they said it was just going to be a few people but not a big party… Then a lot of people came by and I didn’t know any of them but somehow they all knew who I was; jokes all on me, it was a contest to see how long it would take him to have me. He, his friend, and people have been messaging me saying stuff about that party. I don’t remember, I can’t remember it all. It’s mostly hazy in my mind. I didn’t drink that much, I had about three sips to be polite because I don’t like drinking. I’m a lightweight, weed is easier on me, so I prefer to smoke. I don’t know… People tell me something but I can’t remember, I try and it hurts my brain. I remember standing by a plant and being helped upstairs into a bathroom by two guys but the majority is still really fuzzy.
I’m not a teen, I’m 28, but I’ve been using your site since I was a teenager and it’s been really helpful. How can I remember? I have scratches all over, bruises, and no matter how much I showered, it wouldn’t come off.
THINGS YOU CAN DO RIGHT NOW:
- You are incredibly brave for sharing the details of your story. We are terribly sorry that you had this experience in your life, but sharing your story here at Teen Central may help you and others as well, so thank you for coming to us for support. Being violated is hard to overcome in any respect. This was never your fault and reaching out for help is a very brave thing to do. TeenCentral stands with you as the victim in this situation and we support you as you walk through it.
- Also, please remember that it is quite normal to not remember everything after such a traumatic experience. Our brain and body respond to trauma in such a way that it can alter memories (with or without substances in our system). It does not mean it did not happen or that you did something wrong. Again, it is not your fault.
- If you have not already maybe you can take time to find a therapist or a support group to help your process your mixed feelings about what occurred. This is really important because trauma has become a topic that therapists are now highly trained in to help their clients. It’s very likely that you could find someone who could help you move forward in a healthy way and overcome what these men did to you – WHICH WAS WRONG IN EVERY WAY. Also, going to therapy and/or a support group would reduce your isolation and help you feel not alone. If you click over to the HELP tab, you will find a ton of resources, including the National Sexual Assault Hotline at (800) 656-HOPE. Rape crisis calls are anonymous and confidential.
- It is important that you find a support system during this time to help you recover from the traumatic experience. If you can talk with someone you trust while you go through the process of healing yourself it is good to do so. Speaking up is difficult, but we can tell you’re resilient and strong by what you’ve shared with us here.
WHEN YOU ARE READY:
- Consider, what would happen if you contacted a therapist or a support group to help you on the path of healing? They may be able to help you through the process of healing or reporting. You can access a list of therapists by calling your local County Mental Health office or by looking at the back of your insurance card and calling the phone number for Behavioral Health.
- Are you willing report the rape to the police? If so, you can call the police office in the county where the incident occurred any time. This is a big decision. Many victims struggle to come forward. Consider though, what these men may do to others. Take time – and with support – if you decide to take this step, remember TeenCentral stands with you on this.
- Who are some people that can be a part of your support system as you start healing?
- What are some things that you can do to help take care of yourself right now?
- If you struggle to talk about what has happened and your feelings about it, there are other ways that you can express yourself. Journaling, art, and even writing a story about the situation are great ways to tell your story. We have a lot of information and guides about these skills under our Tools tab. Also, you can look in to our WHAT’S NEW section for information about the Art Journaling as a Coping Skill for Stress, and Journaling to Cope with Stress. Finding balance within yourself helps to calm and ease the mind for more clear thoughts and action planning. Consider deep breathing, meditation, mindfulness, being around animals, going for walks, or even yoga and exercise.
- Most importantly – please remember that you have an ally in TeenCentral, no matter your age. Thank you for continuing to visit us. We will always support you.