I want to change
Recently my mom has been saying that she has had enough with me and says that she’ll kill me. She has also hit me and it is very painful. I do nasty and bad things but it feels like I have an empty soul after she beats me. I feel sad, alone and empty. She says. that I’ll never be good enough for her. I want to become good and have a happy life but I just can control myself. My school friends say that I am really happy and stuff like that but really it’s just sad and emptiness inside of me. I want to change and become good. I want myself, and my family to be proud of me. I just want everyone to be happy. Do u guys have any suggestions?
- First, thank you for writing into TeenCentral . We are sorry to hear that this is happening currently in your life and hope that we can give some suggestions that you are able to utilize.
- Most importantly it is never ok to not feel safe. Reaching out to your local authority could assist you in keeping safe and letting them know what is going on in your home. They may be able to give your mother some other resources, or suggestions on how to talk to you without threatening you. It is never ok for someone to hurt you. We have a resource here that can assist in the steps of reporting child abuse and the numbers that you can contact to let someone know what is going on . The article is in our what’s new section and is called “Getting Help for Abuse on Your Own“.
- If this is something that happens all the time try to find a safe space for yourself that you can use to make said phone calls. Allowing the police to know what is occurring is important as no one should threaten your life even if they do not mean this.
- Talk to a trusted adult. This can be anyone from another family member, to a friends parents, to a person in your school. Letting another adult know what is gong on could assist you in processing through what is going on , and asking for help so you may feel more supported when making that phone call.
- Take some time to explore your emotions. Part of growing up is doing exactly this. Maybe doing some bad things is a way that you are expressing something that you are not aware of. Write them down process down what these bad things are and what you can do to change that impulsive nature.
- Take time to find other things that make you feel less empty. I always like to make a brains storming chart of a goal for myself and then what I can do to make that happen such as going for walks, or hanging out with friends. If this is something that makes me happy I will try to do this at least once a week .
- Take this time to keep yourself safe and healthy and make sure that you are letting people know what is going on. You are important and you matter.