I struggle with depression and strong anxiety. Yesterday I was hanging out with my boyfriend at his house, in his room. this got a little heated and we practically had sex which i repeatedly told him i wasn’t ready for. after i started crying, he comforted me. today (the day after) my boyfriend barely texted me and i was really overthinking, i stayed up the previous night thinking about it. When we finally started texting he was texted weird and we just had an argument. He said he was having a good day and implied i ruined it and was stretching the situation. ive been crying for the last hour. idk what to do, please help.
THINGS YOU CAN TRY NOW:
- Safety is paramount. If you are feeling unsafe in this relationship, here are a list of resources from Youth.gov Resources for Victims of Teen Dating Violence | Youth.gov
- Thank you for sharing your story with us; it is an important story. It sounds as if you were made to feel uncomfortable and sad as a part of this encounter so thank you for having the courage to share with others who could benefit from knowing that you are not alone.
- No one has the right to violate your boundaries, it is not your fault. You did nothing wrong.
- Try talking to a supportive adult. If you are not comfortable enough to discuss this with your parents yet, try speaking to a therapist, crisis line, guidance counselor, or other adult family member.
WHEN YOU ARE UP FOR IT:
- Establish healthy boundaries. Boundaries involve physical, social, emotional, and spiritual realms. When it comes to dating it is appropriate to communicate the desire to move slowly in a romantic relationship and make sure consent is at the forefront of every interaction and that there is no pressure to do more than they want. Unhealthy boundaries involve giving in to others even if it goes against what you believe or allowing others to make decisions for you against your wishes. If an individual cannot or will not respect your clear boundaries, then you may have to consider if they are a healthy partner for you.
- Determine for yourself what your boundaries are. Stick to them. Communicate them.
- Evaluate the positive or negative impacts of this relationship. If you look at our TOOLS tab we have tools for making tough decisions, and we also have information on dating violence under our LEARN tab.
