Stories

I’m At My Lowest Again

By March 4, 2022No Comments

I am down at my lowest again. I was molested and didn’t know how to cope with it. I thought relationships would help but little did I know my ex-boyfriend was a bad person. I tried leaving him and he thought we were still together. I hated being in that situation because my ex-girlfriend in the past tried drowning me.  She would punch me, kick me and say mean things to me and I kept that a secret. I told my parents and they don’t say anything. I’m now not able to experience middle school for high school because I wanted to end my life. I still do but now how I cope is crying myself to sleep. I’m starting to swallow bath salts and throw up my food and hurt myself. I don’t wanna go back to the mental hospital. I’ve come so far to just end up back where I started. I’m so exhausted of life.

HELP YOURSELF 

  • That sounds like a lot of pain you’re in right now.  It must be so hard to deal with on a daily basis.  Thank you for caring enough about yourself to allow someone else to try and help.
  • Lets start with the most important factor- you mentioned wanting to end your life.  If that’s how you’re feeling right now, please reach out to someone immediately who can help you.  Depending on where you live, you can contact the authorities in your area, a medical facility, or even use the hotline listed below:

National Suicide Hotline
Available 24/7
Helps individuals in suicidal crisis with support

1-800-273-8255
https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org

http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html

  • I know you mentioned not wanting to go back to a mental health placement.  There is no shame in asking for and accepting help.  The fact that you’re reaching out shows a strength you may not even realize you have.  If you are exhausted- maybe reaching out to a therapist, counselor, another trusted adult would give you the opportunity to allow someone else to help support you while you take on this burden.

 

CONSIDER THIS 

  • It may be wintertime, so depending on how much cold air you can take, have you thought about trying to get outside for walks when it’s warm enough?  Getting more sunshine is a great way to lift your spirits when you’re feeling down.
  • We have several ideas for coping skills on our “Tools” section of our website, as well as a section on Depression under our “Learn” tab on the home page (you can hover over it and find a list of different topics such as Depression).  You may want to look through and see if any of the ideas presented appeal to you.  Give something new a try.
  • Have you tried journaling?  The great thing about journals is there’s no judgement.  Maybe try writing down not just how you’re feeling now, but also reasons and skills you’ve used in the past when you felt this way.
  • Know that you’re not alone.  Be proud of the fact that you’re still fighting- you’re worth it.