Mother my abuser: I remember I was seven when my mom hit me for the first time. My cousin and brother and I shared a room at the time, and because I woke up early in the morning with my cousin and brother she hit me. I also remember I was in the third grade around ( time removed) and my brother and I had an event in school so my dad picked us up we went home and my mom was cooking she opened a drawer and told me why I put something in that place I told her I did not, and my dad heard what she said and he said that he put it there and then my mom gets mad saying that my dad is just trying to defend me she starts screaming and goes to my room and throws my ipad across the floor and breaks it in pieces. Then after that she starts throwing all the food she cooked to the floor and then she starts telling me Im not her daughter and that my brother is not my dads son that his dad was a guy ( name removed) . She leaves after that next day I go to school and and I come home she stole all my money from my piggy bank and I tell my dad later she comes back home she wont talk to me or my dad she just screams at me to go to my room I stay there all night I don’t even eat dinner. Next morning my dad drops me off at school My brother and I went to school early in the morning because we had morning care but my dad only brought me and not my brother. An hour later my mom drops my brother of and my mom calls me and she sats me in the chair and tells me she hates me and that she will send me back to my country. I cry and all the kids and teachers see I try to explain it but I couldn’t speak english very well. Ever since that day I have had horrible memories of my mother. I remember one day she made me eat a big piece of water melon and a big water bottle I was like 9 years old I told her that I felt like throwing up and she said she didn’t care that I was going to finish it any ways. After like a minute i went to the bathroom cause I felt like throwing up I remember not reaching the toilet to throw up and threw up on the bathroom floor my mother heard and she told me I was stupid and to clean up I cleaned up and she told me to take of all my cloth and to get on my knees she had the belt and she hit me because I threw up on the bathroom floor because Of all the things she was making me eat. Ever since that day she would give me alot of food and would make me eat it fast. I cant have guy friends even know that I am ( age removed ) and going to be ( age removed ) in december. If I do have friends she does not know about them only my dad. She blames everything She does wrong to me or someones else. My dad wants to leave her but doesn’t know how. My mother hits me on the head with objects she finds like a kitchen wooden spoon(spatula) I clean the whole house cause she says its my responsibility because she says she works I cook dinner cause she says is my responsibility and she tells me its my responsibility to do the laundry and fold it for every one in my family. it is my responsibility to clean her bathroom. And after work all she does is seat in the couch. She calls me horrible names and hits me with objects. I just want her to stop.
- First thing I want to say is thank you, for having the courage to reach out to TeenCentral for guidance. Often times, reaching out for help is very difficult, so be proud of yourself for making that big step.
- What you have described about your relationship to your mother seems very stressful and hurtful. Have you ever sat down and talked to her about how you feel? Often times, doing this helps each of you to see where the other is coming from. Start with asking her to have a heart to heart conversation. Explain that you just need to talk about how you are feeling and see if she is open to doing that. You could include your dad in the conversation too.
- Abuse is never ok and putting your hand to hit or hurt people should not be tolerated. If you find yourself needing guidance or resources below is a number you can call for help. Support to all individuals in crisis:
Support to all individuals in crisis
Text “HELLO” to 741741
HERE ARE SOME SAFE PLACES TO TURN FOR HELP:
- Your teachers, guidance counselors, church and trusted adults they are there for you! Reach out to your school- via email or zoom in order to contact them. At some schools, you can even make an in-person appointment to talk directly with them face to face.
- We have a blog that can also be utilized that can explain how to get help for Abuse on Your Own. I have linked it to the title. This is a great way to distinguish abuse and how to let someone know what is going on and how you can help yourself.
- Journaling before you speak to get your thoughts out on paper might be a good way of expressing yourself. You could use this to prepare you for a talk with your mother or someone you trust.
- It is very important to work on yourself and feel more confident in how you communicate with others. In the TOOLS section there is also a tab called Positive Self Talk. Check out ways you can improve how you feel about yourself.
- Always, remember to keep your chin up and look for solutions that will work best for you. Keep growing and keep learning that’s how we get better!