I feel like my attitude is my number one problem. I try to control it, but I feel like sometimes when people tell me something or something doesn’t go the way I planned it to go, I’ll get highly upset.
HELP YOURSELF
- It is not easy to reflect upon the moments when we seem to lose control of our reactions. Beyond that, it can be even harder to talk about these experiences with others. Thank you for being so honest and making the decision to share your story with the TeenCentral community.
- When we experience powerful emotions like disappointment, frustration, or anger, we oftentimes have trouble expressing ourselves effectively. If we try to focus our energy on controlling the events happening around us or controlling our emotions, it usually does not work and can just leave us feeling more upset. On the “LEARN” tab of TeenCentral.com, there is a whole section on “Anger Management” that includes great information about assertive communication. Instead of allowing our attitudes to take control of us, we can learn how to channel our strong feelings and express ourselves honestly, but safely.
- Trying to manage our stressful feelings on our own can be really challenging! Is there a trusted adult in your life who can be there to listen to you when you are feeling upset? Sharing your feelings – even those like anger or frustration, which are completely normal – can often help to keep these strong emotions from building up inside until we seem to explode with attitude.
CONSIDER THIS
- Have you ever thought about how you physically feel when you are becoming upset? Oftentimes, we can become so caught up in the moment, that we end up feeling like we are losing control and just reacting without even thinking. If we can focus our attention on something simple like regulating our breathing, we can start to feel a little more in tune with ourselves and how we are responding. Try taking a deep breath in for four seconds, holding your breath for four seconds, exhaling for four seconds, and then resting your breath for four seconds. It may seem a little strange, but this easy technique can often help us to reset and feel more relaxed. Find more information about Four Square Breathing on the What’s New Blog by clicking here “Calm Your Breathing – Anxiety Help”.
- Sometimes when we are working on how to manage our strong feelings, it can be helpful to think about what could be leading us to become more upset in particular moments. Anger can seem to pop up from nowhere, but if we can identify what seems to be triggering this emotion, we can learn a lot more about ourselves and our reactions. Perhaps you could try using the “Weekly Mood Tracker” on the “TOOLS” tab of TeenCentral.com to help you see if there are certain people, places, or situations that seem to cause you more or less stress. On the same page, you can even keep track of how you are feeling and what you are doing in response to these changes in your environment.
- Life can often be stressful, especially now when it seems like so many things are beyond our control. One thing that we can do to help this situation is to prioritize our own self-care. Is there a particular hobby or activity – creating art, exercising, listening to music – that you enjoy doing? By making time each day to do something that brings us joy, we can oftentimes tolerate those less predictable, and sometimes frustrating, parts of our days!
