So when I was maybe 3 years old my father molested me. Ever since then I’ve blamed myself for it because I always tend to think “why didn’t he love me” “why would he do that to his own daughter” “why wasn’t I good enough for him to love instead he decided to hurt me”. My mom also blames herself for it because when it happened she had to leave me with my father it was a court order obviously she didn’t know he was going to molest me, but she had to give him time with me. He took advantage of me and of his time with me and hurt me. Once he realized he could no longer hurt my mom he hurt the next best thing to her which was me. I’m now 16 and still have moments where I break down and I cry while taking showers because to me that’s a trigger because he molested me while giving me a shower. I know it wasn’t my moms fault but it’s getting her to understand that it’s not. What he did has caused me so many problems to this day and I have no idea how to cope with it so I go to boys on snap and Insta and only get caught up in that. I just need closure and a real way to cope with what happened to me and not get my self caught up and in trouble doing it.
First Things First
- Thank you for reaching out to the TeenCentral Community. You are very brave for opening up and telling such a sensitive story! Have you looked at other stories on TeenCentral? I only ask because there are many other young people like you who have experienced similar painful things. It might help a little to know that you’re not alone.
- Who are people you have talked to about this besides your mom? Sometimes it helps to talk to someone who has expertise in the area you are struggling with. You can talk to someone directly by calling the National Sexual Assault Hotline Available 24/7. Supports victims of sexual assault, LGBT-inclusive 1-800-656-HOPE 24/7 or Online Counseling at www.rainn.org
- Another great resource is Crisis Textline Available 24/7 Support to all individuals in crisis. Text “HOME” to 741741 www.crisistextline.org
- It sounds like up until now you have been there to help your mom through a lot of emotional difficult, while you also are dealing with a lot of heavy things on your own! Have you and your mom ever talked with a therapist about what happened? If not, would it interest you? IF not, are there any other supportive people in your life that you could trust?
Getting Through the Day
- You are realizing that you need more coping skills to help guide you through the healing process of trauma from sexual abuse. If you’ve never explored your abuse before we do have some information on this site that can help. Go to the LEARN section and find the Abuse Section for some support.
- Journaling is a good way to take the thoughts you have and putting them into words. We often recommend journaling to kids who are processing very difficult pain as a coping skill. If you would like to know more about it CLICK HERE
- If you are a little lost on how to journal read THIS BLOG
- When you are feeling depressed you could work on these CLICK HERE
- Having a support plan is a great idea, and if you would like to know more information on that you can CLICK HERE
- Your emotions about what happened with your dad are very complex. If you haven’t ever considered a counselor or therapist, TeenCentral would really like to see you give it a try!
Simple things to do daily that will help your emotional symptoms:
- Get out of bed.
- Comb through your hair and pull it back if necessary.
- Put lotion on your skin all over your body. You will be amazed how much this helps you.
- Go outside for at least 20 minutes a day. You can break this up into smaller time frames.
- Hydrate.
- Hug your mom, let her know you love her.
Starting with these basics can sometimes really help in the smallest ways. Before you know it, you’re feeling better emotionally and physically!
Remember – every sun rising is a new chapter for you to write. We believe in you!
