No Longer Friends

went through an abrupt friends breakup, had a hard time getting over it. they seem happier without me and i’m sure i did nothing wrong. help or advice please? this is making me dread school and feel depressed again and i hate feeling this way but i just keep snapping back to missing who they were before.

HELP YOURSELF

• Going through a friends break up and change in your social circle can be really difficult. Not only do you have all the thoughts and emotions, but also a change of habits (like who you sit with at lunch) that can be very impactful. So, thank you for writing to TeenCentral about this tough situation to seek support.
• Friendships are extremely important to all of us. If the loss of a friendship (even if it’s just a temporary loss) ever becomes too much to handle and you find yourself feeling really unsafe at any point, please reach out to an immediate response hotline (Dial 988) or website like the Crisis Textline, which is staffed 24 hours a day 7 days a week with people who can provide support immediately. Just Text “HELLO” to 741741 to start a conversation.
• Although it’s an amazing first step to reach out to the TeenCentral community, there’s no substitute for talking about this situation in person to someone in your life that you know. This can be a family member, teacher, guidance counselor or any trusted adult in your community. Talking to someone can also help give you the connection that you may be missing from this sudden loss.

CONSIDER THIS

• Throughout your lifetime, your social circle will inevitably change as you grow and evolve as a person. This is also true for your friends. But just because this can be a normal part of life, and not because you did anything “wrong”, it doesn’t make it any easier to cope with, as you know. So, it’s important to find ways to manage the emotions that come along with situations like these. One way to do this could be through writing. You could write notes to these friends, and either give them or not give them these notes. Another option is making a list of qualities you want in a friendship and then asking yourself if this old group of friends has those qualities. Or you could just journal your thoughts and feelings as a way to organize and process everything. If writing is something you enjoy, we have a good friend / toxic friend tool that you may find helpful – Good Friend / Toxic friend tool
• When your friend group changes, it can be a huge loss in connection and daily habits that can easily result in feelings like loneliness and being depressed. It’s important to fill that void as much as you can with the people and routines that do make you feel connected. Who are the people and what are the routines that bring you hapiness? Try to commit to doing at least 1 thing that brings you joy for at minimum 10 minutes per day.
• We also recommend taking a break from thinking about the problem for a little while. Sometimes we can over-think things to the point where our emotions become increasingly intense and hard to manage. Take a break to clear your head. Watch a fun movie or read a book. Go outside and take a walk if you are able. Play a game with family members if that’s an option. Come back to the problem later and see if you have a better perspective on it.