Hi again I’m back. I’m probably just going to blah all of my feelings out onto this page, and I really need help. I just came back from a mental hospital a few days ago, and my mom switched my therapist who i actually liked to a new one that I am going to see on Wednesday. School is really triggering for me because of all the loud noises, and my friends don’t really seem to care about all that I have gone through. They all know that I was at a mental hospital, but my friend told me I shouldn’t tell people that I tried to commit suicide because its “Too much” for people, and I get that, i really do, I just don’t know what to do. I have lost many friends because all my problems are too much for them… I want to go back to the mental hospital because people there actually liked me and accepted me for who i am. There was always someone watching over you and prepared to talk to you. I was friends with almost everyone at the hospital, but barely anyone at my school. Everyone seems to be happy that I’m back on the outside, but on the inside I feel like they still wish I was gone. Everything is just too much right now, and I don’t feel like doing anything. I just want to go to sleep and stay in my cozy bed all day. I understand why I can’t tell people that I tried to commit suicide and that is why I went to the hospital, but i also feel like they don’t care enough for me to listen to my story. I want to go back to the hospital where everything was peaceful relationship wise, and there were staff around 24/7 to help me. I just feel like now I have an unstructured schedule and relationships are hard, and switching therapists is hard, and life is hard, everything is hard!! I don’t want to do this anymore. Yes, I still want to be alive, but sometimes I just wish my plan would have worked because I feel too overstimulated and overwhelmed with real life…. But I also feel like I would go to hell if I did that. Also I can’t do soccer yet at my school because all the girls at my school wear shorts for it, and I can’t wear shorts yet because my cuts are still healing and I have bad self harm scars. I have no clue what to do, and every time I write on here nothing they say works. I feel like my problems are too much, even for the hospital! I’m just overwhelmed. Help.
WHAT YOU CAN DO NOW:
- Thank you for sharing your story with the TeenCentral community today. It sounds like you are feeling overwhelmed with the return to life after the hospital and possibly a little let down that your peers don’t quite understand what you are going through.
- Remember safety is always first so if you feel that you need a person to talk to you can Text “HELLO” to 741741 and find 24/7 responses from trained professionals. It also sounds as if you have a supportive family and a therapist. While we understand that your therapist changed, it always helps to have supportive adults in your corner when working through our feelings.
- We also understand that you may be feeling disappointed and out of control. Is is possible that there are some things in this that you can manage? While you cannot control how others think or feel about things, you may be able to manage your responses. Consider, is it beneficial for you to keep repeating some of the same behaviors, are these healthy emotional boundaries for you? Understand that some topics may be off limits for some people and we have to understand this. These are only for you to answer, and perhaps you can discuss these ideas and feelings with your professional therapist.
WHEN YOU ARE UP FOR IT:
- If you are safe and surrounded with positive people. Take some time to learn new things, we have a LEARN tab that discusses things like anxiety and depression. You could also try to teach yourself a new skill, look on Youtube for short videos on how to paint, draw, play an instrument, or dance.
- For more ideas, take a look at our WHAT’S NEW tab and our LEARN tab for other great ideas on coping or working through our feelings. There is a great DEPRESSION tool on there that is worth a look if you haven’t seen it yet.
- Thank you again for your story, stay safe, try positivity, and try something new.