Point of Living

I don’t understand what’s the point of living. Today, I went to an amusement park like google recommended, and it was honestly super pretty. Everyone there was on their best behavior, And it was absolutely lovely. But then I thought to myself, “is that it? Is that all?” Is this all I’m living for in this horrible world? For temporary distractions? Wasting money on myself when I can donate it all to the homeless or to people who actually deserve it? It’s weird. Living is weird. I never understood why I had to live just for the sake of it. This is just how my brain is wired, who I’ll always be; a troublesome teenager. So why can’t I freely announce that I’m gonna poison myself and be gone from this world? Wouldn’t it be easy if we got rid off all the trouble entirely? This is how I’ve been thinking ever since I was 10. I’m between 16-17 now. I dont think “I wanna die because no one loves me” no. I think “I wanna die because there’s no point in living and I’m too bored and tired. ” and when I see other people thinking the same, saying they want to die, I usually keep my mouth shut and watch other people comfort that person. Because what am I supposed to do? I have the same idea, same plan, same everything. Why would I disagree with someone when they’re right? im just genuinely curious. And I’m not like depressed or anything, I just don’t know if living is worth it in this economy anymore.

By the way, I’m so terribly sorry for my english and grammar… I can’t really talk clear these days. I can’t seem to be as good at talking as I did before. And my memory’s getting worse everyday. It’s like I’m slowly fading away into nothingness. and I guess I can accept that.

RIGHT NOW:

• First of all – we are glad you told someone about your feelings. It’s not weird. It’s important. And it can be hard to put into words when you are feeling this way.
• You said in your story that you had a plan to kill yourself. If when you read this response that is still the case, we want you to:

IMMEDIATELY contact emergency medical services (EMS) by calling 911 or go to the nearest Emergency Room to talk to a doctor about what has been happening. If you don’t have an immediate plan to end your life but still think about it a lot this is still a lot to endure for such a young person. Please dial 988 right now to talk to someone right away.

• You will be connected to the National Suicide Hotline at 988, which is available 24/7. You can also text 988 or chat online with them at www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org.

SECONDARY SUPPORTS:

After you have guaranteed your safety, please think about some other people who may be able to help!

• Your guidance counselors are there for you! Reach out to your school.  At some schools, you can even make an in-person appointment to talk directly with them face to face.
• Check in with your teachers. You may only see them during class, but they are still a resource that can connect you to the help you may need. It’s one of the people you have (some sort of) contact with almost every day.
• Your family is another place you can express yourself and ask for help. (parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles)

ONGOING SUPPORT

Once you feel more on solid ground and are able to work on your wellness ongoing, please revisit us at TeenCentral! We have a lot for you to check out here. Most of all, remember that you are important and the world needs you in it!