Hi, I’m 13 and I struggle with suicidal thoughts, self-harm, and addiction. When I was 3 my uncle started grooming me and he started touching me inappropriately when I was 8. My father left when I was a baby, so I have little to no memory of him. I first attempted suicide the day before my 9th birthday, and I have attempted 37 times now. I’m hoping my next attempt works. I always feel like I’m doing something wrong and being selfish. My ex broke up with me because he found out I wasn’t clean, he had also said, “stop talking, you’re just scars and a body” and that impacted me so so much I started starving myself after that because I might as well be pretty if I don’t mean anything.
Help Yourself:
- Thank you so much for reaching out to us at TeenCentral. It must feel very scary and lonely to have experienced what you have. Please know that you are not alone and that there is help out there.
- You mention having made attempts to end your life, when you feel like an attempt is coming, do you have anyone you could turn to?
- Consider reaching out to a trusted adult in your life such as a teacher or school counselor.
- If you don’t believe there are any trusted adults you can turn to, you should
immediately dial 9-8-8 and speak to someone on the Suicide Hotline about your feelings and what is going on. If you are not comfortable speaking with a person, you can also chat with someone from the Crisis Textline by texting the word “HOME” to 741741 or by visiting the website at crisistextline.org.
Consider This:
- Do you have friends that you spend time with playing games or doing activities? It’s important to be connected to other people in life so that when you experience a crisis you don’t feel isolated. If you are interested in meeting new people and trying new things, consider heading to your local community center or even checking for information from your school counselor for clubs/events in your area.
- While you are at the school counselor’s office, think about speaking to them about what has been going on and reaching out for help/guidance. Don’t be afraid to be honest about how you are feeling. You may be surprised how equipped they are in handling problems like this.
- COPING SKILLS – Are you able to identify any of your coping skills or activities that you enjoy? How about journaling or any arts/crafts? How about working with your hands and building things or listening to music? Maybe joining the band or chorus at school. Getting ourselves involved in clubs or in sports is a wonderful way to use our energy and get those happy juices flowing! A bonus would be meeting new friends!
- Please considering taking time to visit our Tools page. Checking out the Keeping Yourself Safe and Support Plan work sheets that will help you identify ways to stay safe, and how to find individuals in your life that you may be able to turn to when you are struggling, and even how to start that conversation with them.
- It is important to remember that even when you feel your most alone that you are not, you just have not met the right people yet. And those days when it is hardest to get out of bed, they are the days when you need to the most. These may seem like darks day but know that if you are able to keep fighting and find the right help, it will all be worth it in the end. Brighter days are ahead; you just have to make it through the fog first.
