My family goes to church. One day, an old lady there tells me she’s always noticing me, how she’s really interested in me even though we’ve not met before. She grabs me even though I said I didn’t want to be touched. Then another time at church she starts touching me by my crotch and fondling me even though my dad told her to stop. I keep thinking about this incident and it makes me feel really uncomfortable, but I can’t stop thinking about it. How do I get it off of my mind? Also, I’ve already had bad experiences at church like homophobia and people saying it’s gods plan that I have the disability that I have, this kind of tipped the line for me that I don’t really want to go, even though my family wants me to go back. Should I go and just be more firm with her that she was being too touchy? I was worried people would think I was making up a story because it’s an old lady
WAYS TO HELP YOURSELF:
- First, we’d like to thank you for your courage in speaking out about your experience. It means a lot that you would trust the TeenCentral community with such a sensitive story. We suspect that many young people have experienced these types of things but are too scared too talk about it
- Your safety and comfortability are very important here. If you are willing, this experience seems like one you would want to have a conversation about. It sounded like your Dad was there – would you feel okay talking more about it to him? Is there another trusted adult you could talk with? This actions meets the criteria of child abuse under most state laws. We’d like you to read this BLOG which, helps you find the numbers you can call yourself to report the things that have been done to you. Listen, I know this is scary – but you are worth it. And you don’t have to just live with what happened.
Just because it happened in a place of worship DOESN’T MAKE IT RIGHT.
THINGS TO DO LATER:
- If you feel comfortable going and having a conversation with this lady, there’s a tool under our “TOOLS” tab that could be useful in having this talk. Here’s a link to it – conflict conversation tool
- Getting stuck in uncomfortable thoughts can take a toll on you over time if you don’t have ways to cope. Do you have any healthy outlets that make you feel better? Listening to music, exercising, cleaning, journaling are all potential options to try. We have a few special tools that might help you as you process this really hard thing that has happened to you:
- Spirituality is important. If you don’t feel comfortable going to that church, we still want you to be able to feel a part of the spiritual community. Are there any online spiritual forums or even another church you could attend? Is there another place you can attend church where this woman cannot find you?
- Please make sure you try to spend at least 10 minutes each day doing something or talking to someone that makes you feel happy.
