Sister Comparison
i always feel like my parents are silently comparing me with my sister. she writes songs, plays piano, dances, does band, and sings. i do all of those things but i followed her. i joined dance AFTER her. i joined theater AFTER her. i always feel terrible when my parents are talking to my sister after she plays one of her new songs and saying, “you are so lucky you got both of our talents.” i know they are not trying to make me feel this way, and that they love me, but it’s just easy to feel that way. what should i do??
THINGS YOU CAN DO RIGHT NOW
- It seems like you’re going through a difficult time. I appreciate you reaching out and sharing your story with TeenCentral– that takes real bravery and you should be proud of yourself. You are always welcome here!
- Feelings are not right or wrong- they just are. If you click on tabs on our website you will be linked to helpful information and strategies that can aid you in times of mental stress.
- Just know if you’re ever feeling unsafe with yourself or like there’s no one to talk to about how you feel, please reach out to the Suicide Prevention Lifeline. They are available 24 hours a day. In order to reach the National Suicide Hotline you DIAL or TEXT 988 or CHAT at 988lifeline.org.
WHEN YOU ARE READY
- Writing/Journaling – Writing down your feelings is a great way to express yourself if you’re having trouble commuting with you family or others. There is some very helpful literature in our family section under the “Learn” tab on our homepage. Family’s can be very difficult and complicated and communication—though extremely important—is not always easy. Putting your thoughts and emotions down on paper first can help you organize them and find the right words to relay to your parents. It seems like your family can be very supportive, which is great, but you deserve to be appreciated in the ways you need.
- Looking after our mental health and self-esteem are so vitally important for feeling our best. There are excellent ways to improve your mental health using some tools on our site. The Daily Positive Reminder as well as the Self Positive Talk are both great places to start shaping your thoughts into more a positive space. The “conflict organizer” can also be a super helpful way to start the process of addressing your feelings directly with your parents. You are worth it, you matter, and you are undeserving of guilt and defeating thoughts/situations.
- It’s great you are involved in so much art! Maybe finding a new interest or hobby that’s different than your sister’s could help your situation—something that only you’re interested in—maybe a passion you haven’t yet explored but have always wanted to.
Good luck to you and feel free to write back whenever you want! Again, you are always welcome here and we are happy to help in any way we can!
