Some thoughts around nowhere
I’m embarrassed of my last and middle name. For fuck sake my name makes me sound like I’m in my 60s and I had a boring job like an accountant. I have never met someone with my name. So, I ask you, does that make me special? No, I got it from my drunk dad that I’m nothing like him and I wish to just remove it, remove my last name. Maybe when I’m old enough I’ll just remove my whole name, I didn’t realize that when I was younger, I was just grateful that I was alive. Because I could have had daddy issues, yeah cool, but my dad also moved here where I just moved 2 years ago (what a fucking stalker)!! He said he moved here because of my brain injury. LMAO he hasn’t even stopped to see me, typical of my dad. I also hate this town, this racist little town, PA is the most judgmental and racist state in America. FACTS! From the two years I’ve been here; I got a booger flicked on my new jeans, got into a few racial and political arguments and ironically I got called a n**** on the back of the bus. (I’m Hispanic by the way) have I told my parents I’ve been getting bullied, HELL NO! Why would I tell them, they are already bullying me around because of how fat I am. My sister is also getting bullied around the same way, my sister’s 10. THAT JUST MAKES ME CRY AND SCREAM IN MY PILLOW! So let’s see what s*** goes down in the freshman year, am I excited no, am I scared no because I can deal with shit myself ; all I want to do is get my diploma and then move to Mexico, because guess what I haven’t even seen my grandparents because my absent father wouldn’t even show me a picture of them. If life was perfect I wouldn’t even know about my father, if life were perfect I wouldn’t need a cast in my skull, if life were perfect I would have been more skinnier, if life was perfect I would know what I wanted to do by now.
THINGS TO DO FIRST
- First here at TeenCentral we would like to thank you for writing in to us. Having the bravery to talk to someone about how you’re feeling can be the hardest thing for people to do.
- It sounds like you have a lot going on in your life and it can feel overwhelming at times. Have you attempted to talk to someone or utilize any coping skills to help manage your stress? If you are ever feeling as this stress is to overwhelming you can also contact the crisis hotline which I have listed. Someone is always there to talk.
Crisis Textline
Available 24/7
Support to all individuals in crisis
Text “HELLO” to 741741
www.crisistextline.org
- Think about people you can reach out to in your life that may be able to help you during this difficult time. People to reach out to could include a guidance counselor, a trusted teacher, a religious leader, or a family member. Talking to people in person can be a huge relief and you could possibly gain some insight about how to better manage these emotions.
THINGS TO DO LATER
- On the homepage of TeenCentral you can learn more about certain topics such as stress, bullying, body image, and even anxiety. Click on the links above to get a better understanding of these topics and it could possibly help!
- Lastly, do you have any hobbies you enjoy doing to get your mind off of your troubles? Some hobbies or activities that you could try include journaling, exercising, or going outside and enjoying nature! Journaling can be the best way to get feelings out in a creative, but also very expressive way. We use multiple parts of the brain when journaling which allows for us to process information in a different way.
- You can also take a look at our TOOLS section of our website. Here have a ton of different ways that people cope through some of the very things you may be going through.
