I don’t know. I just, I need to get this out somehow. Once when I was little (some time around second grade, when we moved) I went to my friend who lived just next doors house and he eventually took me too a private room with just me and him in it and started grabbing at me under my clothes, touching me VERY inappropriately and I had never been told what to do in a situation like that or that it’s wrong but still felt VERY uncomfortable and scared and so I tried to get away (in a very stupid way) I repeatedly said things like “oh, I think I hear my Mom calling me” which not surprisingly didn’t work. Eventually he stopped and then we went to their living room where everyone was and I sat with him on the ground scared and hoped my Dad would come in and take me out of the house (My Dad had been coming in and out of the house) and even when my Dad came in he wasn’t in any rush to take me out of the house since he didn’t know what happened. When I eventually got out I at some point told my Mom about it (not detailed, but told her what he did, not what I did, I’ve never given anyone the full story out of fear) and she said she’d tell his Mom which I’m not even sure if she ever actually did or not. After it he kept trying to get me to come back to his house, my Mom told me that I told her that I cursed at him, called him names and told him how much I hate him, without telling him why, he kept trying but eventually stopped. I can’t remember exactly what happened but I can remember that for a LONG TIME after it happened I had frequent very vivid very terrifying memories of it where I could legitimately feel him touching me the same way he did that day despite it not actually still happening, and hoping that it would go away. He still lives right next door. He goes to the same exact school as me. He takes the same exact bus. Whenever I even see his face I feel terrified and avoid being around him. I don’t know who knows what he did, I don’t know if he ever received any punishment for it. I don’t know if it’d be considered rape sexual harassment or what because I can’t even remember the incident in detail anymore. Is it something I should tell the police about now, would he get in trouble, he’s the same age as me. (Female 15)
HELP YOURSELF:
- Thank you for reaching out to us at TeenCentral! We know that you are scared and you are very brave for reaching out. We truly appreciate that you trust us enough to take this big step by telling someone and we can help to guide you to the answers you are looking for.
- When something really scary like this happens, it can be very painful and upsetting. It is normal to have overwhelming feelings of helplessness or hopelessness and even fear because it doesn’t seem like there is a way to make it better. Remember that when you are feeling like this and feel as if you need help right away, and that there is no one in your life that you can talk to, there are many other options where you can get help. You can always call 1-800-273-8255 or text HELLO to 741741 or call 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453). If you find it hard to talk about these feelings or the actual incident, there are also these websites. Lifeline (suicidepreventionlifeline.org), Crisistextline.org , or Childhelpusa.org.
- We believe that it is very important for you to talk about this and get the answers you deserve. Have you asked your mother about the situation and if she ever spoke to his parents? Is she aware that you are feeling the way you feel? It is important that she is aware of these feelings so that she can better support you and get you the help you may need.
- Have you ever met your guidance counselor at your school? If you are nervous or worried about talking with your mother this is a great place to start. Your counselor can help to coach and prepare you for that conversation.
CONSIDER THIS WHEN YOU ARE READY:
- There is a great section in the Learn tab about Sexuality. There is some great information if you scroll down to the section titled “What is Consent”, that may help you find a find to express your feelings and concerns. Letting someone know what has happened, and asking for help to work through it, may also help you find some of the answers you’re looking for about holding this person accountable for what they did to you according to the laws where you live.
- If you struggle to talk about about what has happened and your feelings about it, there are other ways that you can express yourself. Journaling, art, and even writing a story about the situation are great ways to tell your story. Writing music and song lyrics are also amazing ways to release. We have a lot of information and guides about these skills under our Tools tab.
- Feel free to check out our WHAT’S NEW section for information about the Art Journaling as a Coping Skill for Stress, and Journaling to Cope with Stress.
- Finding balance within yourself helps to calm and ease the mind for more clear thoughts and action planning. Consider deep breathing, meditation, going for walks, or even yoga and exercise.
