So I am a bisexual, and I’ve told lot of people because I’m very confident in my identity even though I’ve known for less than a year. I told my parents (despite advice from my friends not to, I thought better now than never) and my dad says he accepts me but doesn’t act like it. I tried to come out to my extended family by updating my profile pic of this texting app we use, and he told me I’m not allowed to. I also think he told my uncle without my permission because we were talking about some lgbtq stuff in his bathroom (me and my cousins and sister were) and he pulled me out the bathroom and told me that he and my dad have been talking and he knows things but he doesn’t want me to teach my cousin that the “demonic” stuff is good and if she ever comes home knowing anything I’m going to be in big trouble and general made seem like he knew. Now I don’t know what to do. Please give me advice. Oh I think it is important to note that my profile pic thing did work at least a little bit Bc my uncle (the homophobic one previously mentioned) and aunt know and I only know that because my cousin (who also knows, but she’s only 11 and one of the first people I told) told me that she overheard them talking about it after I changed it.
- Thanks for sharing your story with the TeenCentral community. We applaud your confidence in yourself and the courage it takes to accept and speak your truth! Coming out can be very scary and you should be proud of the steps you’ve taken so far.
- TeenCentral has an entire page dedicated to LGBTQ+ issues, particularly “coming out”. You should check it out if you haven’t already. A lot of teens are struggling with the very decision that you are. Click here to check it out. Remember, your choice to identify as LGBTQ+ is your story to tell, no one else’s.
- Unfortunately you are going to experience a ranged of reactions to your “coming out”. First – please remember the most important thing is that YOU are comfortable with who you are. People in general can have a hard time dealing with change and juggling their own opinions. Sometimes that can come out negatively towards you. Those moments are more of a reflection of who they are than who you are. After that, seek to build yourself a support system of those who do support and accept you.
- If at any time through this process you feel really badly or unsafe in any way please visit our HELP page. There are MANY help lines on that page that allow you to talk to, chat or text with experts who can help you through challenging situations.
WHERE TO GO FROM HERE:
- Keep finding ways to speak your truth and be who you are! You’ve already been creative with finding comfortable ways to “come out” – don’t stop if that helps you. Talking to people about sexuality can be scary so have you considered writing a letter or using writing to organize what you could say?
- There may also be some other things to consider when coming out to anyone. Grab a pen and paper and answers some of these questions. Do you want that person(s) to keep this private or is it ok to talk about? You can ask people to honor your privacy. What are some ways that they can support you? In what environments will you be “out” in? This could be a few safe places or everywhere. Think about some other aspects that are important to you.
- The process of coming out in itself can cause a lot of anxiety or other tough thoughts and emotions. Remember, people may not always react the way you want them to. If you are experiencing any of these, we encourage you to make sure you have coping skills to help you through any difficult moments. What are 5 things you can do that help you feel calm and relaxed?