I have been having problems lately. It’s weird to say this because it’s not something most people can relate to but lately I’ve been having feelings for another girl who is really beautiful and I like her personality, she’s kind, smart, funny, and understands me. The problem is I have a girlfriend who I have been with for a while now, and I feel guilty because I’ve been hiding these feelings and never told her about the girl. I love her but I also have feelings for this girl and sometimes I feel like I just committed a sin or a crime where I can never come back from. I hope someone can help me understand these emotions more as I really REALLY need help.
WAYS TO HELP YOURSELF:
- First, thanks for reaching out to the TeenCentral community for support. You’ve taken a great first step by putting this problem out there and asking for help… that takes a lot of courage! It’s also important to point out that you talked about this first instead of acting on it. That matters!
- It may feel like this issue isn’t very relatable but unfortunately it is. Feelings are often difficult to manage and many young people can find themselves attracted to another person when they didn’t intend to, or when they are unavailable. Just within our own STORIES page, there are over 100 stories about this topic. You can view the results by clicking the link. What does this tell you? …that YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
- We do think it’s important to continue to talk about this so you can process your feelings and figure out what you want to do about them. Have you thought about talking with a trusted adult about this situation? You might consider a parent or guardian – if not them, maybe an older sibling or cousin, guidance counselor, religious leader – someone you can trust. There’s just something about a face-to-face conversation that can really help.
CONSIDER THIS:
- It sounds like you have a bunch of thoughts and feelings to sort out related to these two birds. One of the best people to help you understand them is yourself, you just need to organize things. A great way to do this is to write down what you are thinking and feeling and explore those things one at a time. Journaling is an excellent coping skill for all people. You don’t have to write a lot. You can even use a phone if you have one. There are even journalling apps that can help you get started. One great app to consider is called HOW WE FEEL. It is totally free made available by donations. It is a journal but so much more – check it out!
- Guilt can be a tough thing to cope with. But it’s important that you do cope with it, so it doesn’t affect you for a long time. Journaling can be a great way to process those feelings too. Why do you think you were hiding the feelings and never told your girlfriend? Answering questions like that can go a long way towards helping you resolve your feelings. If you’d like more information check out THIS LINK.
- While processing some of these thoughts/feelings and figuring out what to do next, you might continue to feel more of that guilt and other tough feelings. We think it’s important to make sure you are using coping skills to work through those tough moments. What are the things and hobbies you like to do that bring you peace and joy? Things like listening to music, exercising, being outside in nature can be very important to your emotional wellness when you are stressed out. We encourage you to spend at least 10 minutes a day doing something that makes you happy. You can work through this!
- For example – If music is your thing, consider using our music coping skill tool HERE
