First of all, sorry to bother you during the Christmas holiday, I wish you a happy holiday! I’ve seen an interesting topic called “what if you fall in love with a historical figure?” It reminds me of a similar experience I had, but I can’t say love, because there’s a difference between love and obsession, More specifically crush. Many years ago, I accidentally saw an old black-and-white photo of a historical figure. It felt very nice and crush-on at once. I was particularly curious, so I quickly went to find relevant information and biography to read it. I wanted to know more about this person and get closer to her. As I learned more, I knew that this person was also a villain in history. Her conduct was dissolute and unruly. There was no bottom line in life. Even if I could really travel through time, I would keep a distance from this kind of person. I know I was only fascinated by a few photos that had a good angle and made this person look good. In other old photos, this person was also not good-looking, and her appearance and figure were not good. So I wasn’t obsessed with it every day, and then I let it go. But occasionally every few years I still pay attention to it, if there are new historical materials, biographies, memoirs and other related works out, I will also look for it, I have recently been reading the latest foreign biography published in previous years about this person. Strangely enough, every time I refocus on this person, I am still hooked and crushed by the good looking photos. What to do when you fall in love with a historical figure? Under this topic, I see some people say that this has nothing to do with love, just a kind of psychological projection, may be to project some of their own thoughts and emotions to a more ideal illusory image, of course, it has nothing to do with the real person in history,”love” is not the real person in history,”love” is to borrow this person to construct a virtual more perfect image, is it so? I don’t want to be a slave to emotion. How can I stop being infatuated?
- Happy holiday from TeenCentral and thank you for reaching out to us with your story. Some could get nervous sharing their thoughts about a unique interest, so we appreciate your courage.
- From what you’ve shared, you may just be experiencing a serious interest and crush instead of infatuation. And that’s a good thing. Typically, infatuation involves behaviors that could be unreasonable or even unsafe and violations of boundaries.
- It may be a good idea to get some feedback from a trusted positive adult on what you are experiencing. Maybe even chatting with someone like your history teacher or guidance counselor in school could be helpful in determining how healthy your interest is.
- When it comes to intense interests or obsessions, they don’t just typically disappear. What could be helpful is channeling these thoughts or emotions into something positive or constructive. For example, maybe you do a project on this person or presentation in school. By talking to someone in the school you could open up a potential for this. You stated that this person was a villain, but even villains have a story.
- The other option is trying to broaden or expand your interests to other things. What are 3 other things in your life that interest you? It could be maybe learning about another historical figure; it could even be a topic completely unrelated like learning a language or picking up a new talent or skill.
- If you happen to be more curious about if your interest is based more in psychology, keep doing some research. We are huge fans of always trying to better yourself and learn more. We have some awesome knowledge and resources on our site that could be beneficial. Check it out when you are up to it.