|I’m 16. My girlfriend (she’s 16 too) and I have been dating for a year. Both of us believe in saving sex for marriage. At times we’ve really struggled with keeping this commitment.
A couple months back, I began taking medication for an anxiety disorder. The drug is definitely helping, but it’s totally killed my ability to get an erection. I know it’s got to be the drug because I never had any problems before I started taking it and because erectile dysfunction is listed as a possible side effect.
I told my girlfriend about my problem. She was sympathetic, but I can tell she feels relieved too. She seems to enjoy our make-out sessions a lot more now knowing that they can’t lead to anything more. She seems so much more relaxed when we’re together.
I haven’t said anything to my parents or doctor about the side effect my medication is having. I’m thinking of staying quiet and just letting it continue. Am I crazy for wanting to do this for my girlfriend? Because, honestly, I feel relieved too.
- When you question your relationship it can make you feel confused and uncomfortable. You are smart for making an honest effort to make the right decisions for you and your girlfriend.
- It’s okay to want to save sex for marriage. You and your girlfriend just want to stick to your standards. This is an intelligent decision. You both probably just want to enjoy life since you’re still very young. You still have plenty of time. It’s acceptable to enjoy the moment by only making out.
- You don’t have to feel pressured to have sex now. It’s both of your decisions as individuals. Taking your time will help you know when you’re making the right decision. Plus you’ll feel more comfortable with it.
- You might want to make sure with your doctor that the erectile dysfunction side effect is safe for your health though. If you don’t want to take the medication, there are plenty of natural remedies which might help your anxiety disorder. You might want to research some of these which may include meditation, yoga or changing your diet to a healthier one.
- Spirituality might help you make the right decisions. You can head to the Teen Central website and click the Learn tab then Spirituality to read about it. Spiritual techniques include prayer, meditation and yoga. You may try attending church by yourself or with your girlfriend to gain a new perspective on your problems. Speak to a church leader such as a pastor for advice if you’d like.
- Knowledge is power. You can go to the Teen Central website and click the Learn tab then Anxiety to better understand your issue. The more you know about a problem, the better you will be equipped to solve it.
- You can head to the Teen Central website and find useful resources under the Tools tab.
- If you’re worried about keeping your promise about waiting to have sex until marriage, you can try focusing on other things. You can do teenager activities like doing hobbies, spending time with friends who are a good influence on you or joining a sports team or school club.
- To get your mind off things, you can get involved in volunteering. This can bring meaning into your life and give you a sense of purpose. Some ways to volunteer include helping out at an animal shelter, reading to children or aiding an organization to clean up the environment.
- There’s a lot you need to learn before you have sex because you’re girlfriend could get pregnant. Having a baby is a serious matter because he/she will be a real human being. One thing you have to learn is responsibility. You also must learn to be selfless so you don’t put yourself before your baby. Possibly the biggest requirement is to learn to love yourself and to be yourself. When the time is right to have sex, get married and start a family, you’ll know. If you consider how your decisions will affect you now, you’ll be better able to make responsible, informed decisions for the future.
- Would you be disappointed in yourself if you didn’t stick to your standards of waiting for sex until marriage?
- In what ways can you focus more on being a kid and less on adult matters like sex?
- If you were to have sex now, in what ways (positive and negative) might your future be affected?
- In what ways can you commit to your goals and having the best future when you’re ready to have a family?
- How could your future ruined if you rush things with your girlfriend?
- How can you make sure you commit to waiting to have sex until after you’re married?