me and my friends made a slideshow called “friendos” and it was a way of sharing our interests and meeting new people. it got griefed, so we made a 2.0. i did, at least. i eventually felt the weight of responsibility crash down on me and i wasn’t able to moderate it, so i transferred ownership to two others. ainsley and evelina. they each made their own slideshow. ainsley made feindos, evelina made goof troop. i, however, attempted to revoke ainsley’s ownership as she was allowing the slideshow to be used for inappropriate reasons. they griefed evelina’s slideshow before this, so i calmly informed them by saying, and i quote: “hi, cj here! former owner of friendos! i told her to make that, it very much is with permission! i politely ask that we take feindos down as it went against the very clear instructions i gave you in the email! evelina will probably make a new goof troop, so uhhh yeah. chiedo solo che questa imitazione impropria venga rimossa, grazie!” [I only ask that this improper imitation be removed, thank you!] then ellie and ainsley proceeded to attack me saying that they weren’t copying my idea (although i stated very clearly in the email to ainsley that if she didn’t make an exact copy that she wouldn’t be allowed to be owner any longer) and that they were refusing to change it. i’ve been pondering not being their friends, but i’ve also been wondering. am i a bad person? i thought anyone would be upset if someone did something like that, but im not sure. usually im always proven to be in the wrong, so im sure this isn’t any different. i just wish i could get along with people my age, vorrei essere normale. [I would like to be normal.] the only people in my grade that i can relate with are horrible people who treat me horribly. takes one to know one, i guess.
but still, am i in the wrong?
A note from TeenCentral about “griefing” or something or someone being “griefed”. This can relate to multi-player video games or online games or any online creative content that has been created by someone. It could mean exploiting game elements or mechanics, such as repeatedly killing the same player or utilizing irritating tactics to disrupt the gameplay or persistently destroying another player’s creations or simply finding someone’s original online created content and destroying it or messing with it.
SETTING SOME THINGS STRAIGHT
- Thank you so much for writing to TeenCentral about this issue. It’s complex and involves many concerns and feelings that must be difficult to navigate. I’m sure that other readers and writers on TeenCentral have encountered similar dilemmas. Good for you for reaching out for help!
- To put things simply, no, you are not a bad person. And no, you are not in the wrong, generally speaking in this situation. But – there are many perspectives to consider.
- Anytime you are putting content on the Internet, unless you pay to put a lot of protections around it, that content ends up being owned by the public. It’s very hard to claim it as your own – even though you created it – once you put it out into the Inter-verse.
- When you ask a person (or people) to behave in a polite and civil manner it’s reasonable for you to expect that person to do so. It’s the right thing to do, and it’s probably what you would do for them. However, there is no rule or law that says they HAVE TO be nice and do the right thing. People often think in terms of their own interests. It’s an unfortunate truth.
- You have the absolute right to be upset that your friends did not behave in the way you expected them to behave. Your feelings are legitimate, and you are not a bad person for asking them to keep the integrity of your original creative content online.
- We think you’re on the right track by evaluating your friendships. If some or all of them are treating you horribly like you said, then it’s time to take a closer look. Learn more about toxic friendships at the links below:
CONSIDER THIS
Maybe this is a good opportunity to step away from the online world for just a minute. Maybe that, itself, has become a bit toxic for you. What else could you do to refresh your mind and spirit and have somewhat of a positive “restart”?
- WELLNESS
- Relaxation
- Calm Breathing
- Practicing Rest and Peace
- ART – Coping with Stress
- Sun Salutation
Maybe even just getting outside would be a good daily practice if you are not already doing this. Research has shown that being outside (even on overcast days) just for 20 minutes makes a difference in our mood and overall well-being. And remember – TeenCentral is always here to read your thoughts and feelings and provide feedback! Take care and be well!
