I just recently came out to my parents as bisexual. I am struggling with feeling supported since we live in the Midwest and a lot of my family is conservative. My mom and I have been butting heads a little about style. Nothing big, just about eyeliner, her constantly asking and saying this like are you trying to be more butch (I did not describe the shorter hair cut I wanted as well)? I feel like she is trying to keep me in her style since for the most part, my clothing style is based on hers, and everyone always says we look and act alike. I want to explore and learn what I like without her making me doubt myself. I want to be able to talk to my mom comfortably about this girl I am crushing hard on, but she did not take me coming out as Bi very seriously and thinks it is a phase. I don’t know what to do to make this better or get through it.
- Thank you for trusting the TeenCentral community with your story! Sexuality can be difficult to talk about and explore as it’s an extremely personal topic. It can make us feel vulnerable and scared among many other things. It takes a lot of courage to open yourself up about this issue so great job! We hope that you can find the help and support you need here at TeenCentral. You are not alone in this!
- Here at TeenCentral, we have many resources to help you through this journey. Under the “Learn” tab on the site, we have sections devoted to sexuality and LGBTQ information. It can help you with areas related to “coming out” such as how to tell others and how to care for yourself during this stressful time. In addition to these resources, we also encourage you to read the stories of others who have been through similar struggles in regards to their own sexuality.
- Unfortunately, the process of coming out can be not only difficult for the individual coming out, but also to those who you are coming out to. Denial, questioning, and even rejection can be difficult responses to cope with and make you hesitant to continue talking to others about your sexuality. The important part to remember is that it’s YOUR story, feelings, and opinion and you have to do what’s best for YOU. Taking the initial step to come out to your Mom took a lot of strength and courage on your part.
- Keep going! It may take time and you may not always get the responses you are looking for but you have support. Aside from your parents, is there any other trusted adults that you can talk to about this such as another relative or positive adult figure?
- Working through issues related to your sexuality and how that impacts your life can create many challenging thoughts and emotions. It’s important to make sure those thoughts/feelings are managed in a safe and appropriate way. Having the courage to explore your sexuality is a great starting point. Have you tried journaling about your thoughts and feelings related to your sexuality? That can help you organize your thoughts and get a clearer picture of who you are.
- You can also use writing to help communicate with your Mom. Maybe you can write her a letter explaining how you feel and what your concerns are. That could help bridge the gap and make any in person conversations a little easier.
- Making sure you practice good self-care is another important part of supporting yourself through this time. There can be a lot of uncertainty and stress that comes with figuring out who you are. Find time to do the positive things that calm you down or make you feel happy. What are your favorite things to do that bring you happiness or calm? Include those things in your support plan and try to make them a part of your daily life.
- Surrounding yourself with positive connections is another important piece to getting through this situation. Who are the positive people you enjoy spending time with? Having these individuals as sources of support and comfort can be very helpful when you feel like others might not understand you. Reach out to them as often as you can.