Closeted NB

By December 10, 2019No Comments

Hi. I’m Jamie and I’m 13 years old. I’ve discovered that I am nonbinary, but there’s a few issues. 1.) my parents have no idea and do not believe in it one bit. 2.) I want a binder but have no way of getting access to one. And 3.) I want to cut my hair like a boy but my hair is too thin for any good hairstyle. I’m sorry if this is a lot but I have absolutely no one else to turn to. Thanks


  • Being nonbinary can make you feel alone and misunderstood. You are brave for being yourself in the face of adversity even though this can be difficult at times.
  • If you need someone to talk to, you can head to the Teen Central website and click the Help tab to call a hotline or textline. The Tools tab has downloadable resources to help you be more positive, etc. The Stories tab has stories submitted by other teens and answered by counsellors. Click the Learn tab to learn more about Depression, Spirituality, Bullying, Sexuality, Suicide and more. You can also speak to a trusted therapist, school counsellor or religious leader about your problems. Additionally, you may want to find a gender identity therapist who has experience with teens.
  • You can try talking to your parents about being nonbinary if you feel comfortable with this. Pay attention to their feelings and make sure they do the same for you.  If they don’t believe in being non binary, they’ll be a lot more likely to become angry. You can encourage them to accept you as you are by having them read this article: 6 Ways to Support Your Non-Binary Child from Everyday Feminism. Remember that good parents love their children unconditionally. If they don’t accept you as you are, they’re the ones with the problem. Parents can be immature for various reasons, although they should be older and wiser than you.
  • Since you lack a binder, thicker hair and other things that would help you be yourself more, you can focus on becoming more independent and responsible so you can earn them. You can try getting a part-time job to start with.
  • You can be positive by repeating positive affirmations to yourself when you become negative. Besides this, read inspiring quotes and write down a few things you’re grateful for in a daily journal. Being yourself and expressing your feelings in a healthy manner is important to your health and well-being. You can benefit from spending time with positive people who have real goals and who genuinely care about you as a person. Stay hopeful for the future by always having something to look forward to. Do what you enjoy or try something new such as a hobby, join a school club or sports team, or just read a book. Find something to laugh at in a positive way by reading comics, making up funny stories, watching cartoons or drawing humorous pictures.
  • You can use creativity to express your feelings in a healthy way with drawing, coloring in a coloring book, listening to music or playing a musical instrument among others.
  • Spirituality can help you feel less alone, gain meaning in your life and have peace of mind. Prayer, yoga and meditation are a few spiritual techniques that can improve your life. You can also attend church services.
  • Volunteering can be good for your health, make you be more positive and help you find friends who think like you. Consider training to be a counsellor, writing for a nonprofit you admire, walking dogs at a pet shelter or making cards for kids among others. Besides this, you can foster or adopt a dog or cat from a pet shelter and save a life. You can find opportunities online or locally by visiting websites like
  • You can motivate yourself by reading inspiring books about people who’ve overcome huge obstacles in life such as activists, artists, scientists or others.
  • You can practice self-care by eating healthy, exercising regularly and being more spiritual among other things.


  • In what ways can committing to positivity help you improve your life now and in the future?
  • How can having positive people who love you as yourself make you happier each day?
  • In what ways can living a more meaningful life help you feel fulfilled?