My mom never lets me get anything. She never buys me new clothes and she doesn’t let me get skin care products. I have severe acne.
She grounded me for 3 months and now the only thing I can do is study, exercise, homework, practice violin, eat, and sleep. I don’t have my phone or anything for 3 months. HELP!!
THINGS TO DO FIRST
- First, we would like to thank you for taking the time to write into TeenCentral. Reaching out for assistance can be hard for some and we are glad that you had the courage to ask for help!
- Being grounded for 3 months at a time must make you feel powerless and hopeless. Maybe start with having a conversation with your mom about how you are feeling about the situation. Sometimes parents can “overreact” to situations because they are scared for your well-being or they aren’t sure how to navigate certain situations.
- Be careful with black and white thinking / statements such as “always” and “never”. This way of viewing the world can be a challenge to healthy relationships. When you find yourself making such strong statements as these, try challenging the thought to see if you have all the information and consider if maybe there is a perspective you are missing. Practice radical acceptance as one of the only constants in life is change. Try to figure out how you can change your circumstances. What actions / words can you exhibit that won’t result in self-defeating patterns such as frequent punishments.
- If you are unable to have that conversation with your mom then possibly look to have that conversation with a trusted teacher, guidance counselor, coach, or relative. They might be able to extend themselves as that “bridge” of communication with your mom.
- Some things to consider trying to help with your frustrations could be meditation or wellness activities. Click here to read more about relaxation and different ways to help calm yourself if you are feeling overwhelmed.
- You said that you have a couple hobbies already and we encourage you to continue using those hobbies/coping skills on a regular basis to also help if you are feeling overwhelmed. Exercise is a great way to relieve yourself of anything weighing heavy on your mind and violin could be a great outlet for you to really focus and try to clear your mind of any clutter!