In the month of October 2022, I came to London, to do my higher studies. I came along with my best friend who was my friend for almost 4 years. It was our dream to reach here and we did, but like always given we faced our challenges. fights, misunderstandings, and everything. So then it got pretty serious and she got very possessive of me and left me and went along with her other friends out of which one she got feelings for and is now her boyfriend. As days went I also learned to make new friends, and I’m so glad there was a boy with whom I vibed and he was like my brother / best friend. I had someone as my emotional support. One thing common in both of us is that we both are in a long-distance relationship and are happy in it. But lately, it seems like he has become too busy with his girlfriend and just to make sure I’m good when his girlfriend goes offline comes and spends time with me, things are off we fight every day and he always makes me feel that I’m overreacting to things. I have started getting that lonely feeling and it sucks really. I have no idea what to do and there is no one for me to talk to. My boyfriend and my friends told me to learn to enjoy ur alone company, It’s true I should not be dependent on anyone but sometimes it hurts when I have no one to talk to when I’m somewhere far away from home. Please help me to deal with this situation I really don’t know what to do.
Ways to Help Yourself:
- First, I would like to thank you for having the courage to share your story with TeenCentral community. Be proud of yourself for reaching out for help.
- Let’s start by stating that being away from the people (your supports) is a very difficult thing. You stated that you feel certain ways about your relationship with your friend and that things seem different. Did you try sitting down and talking with him? Explaining where you are coming from and how you are feeling. Use “I and we” statements, like for example “When we fight often I feel ________”. Perhaps even open up the conversation by asking how he is feeling. Maybe he is going through a tough time. Maybe there are things you don’t know that would help you understand more.
- You stated that you should not be dependent on others. This may true in some ways if you feel you can’t trust them, but let’s not forget you are away from the majority of your support systems. Everyone needs healthy human contact. Do you have any other friends, co-workers, faith community leaders or teachers from where you are living? Talking to your supports and telling them how you are feeling can help with your wellbeing. A trusted older adult who has been through more of life than you can often offer guidance that you wouldn’t expect. Give that some thought. Consider a phone call or a good old-fashioned face to face conversation!
- Here on TeenCentral we have many tools that might help you. Check them out on the web page. One that jumped out to me was “my support plan” this could help you to create a way of adjusting to finding support systems if you are ever in need. There are so many more that can help you through this difficult time. Some others we would recommend for your situation include:
- It is very important to work on yourself and feel more confident in how you communicate with others. In the Tools section there is also a tab called Positive Self Talk. Check out ways you can improve how you feel about yourself.
- Another important thing to remember… is that it is actually normal for relationships to evolve and change as YOU grow and change in life. As you make your way through life you may a have a smaller circle of friends, but they will be really close friends – and that will take time to develop. You will learn who you can and cannot trust sometimes the hard way, and that can be painful. But in the long run, you will have a really strong, close circle of friends that you can trust. We recommend that you pick up the habit of journalling during this process. Writing things down – your thoughts and feelings – is a helpful coping skill. We recommend that you read this WHAT’S NEW BLOG to learn more about how to get started with this helpful skill.
- Again, I want to thank you for reaching out for help. We are always here if you need to share things you are struggling with.