Hi. I’ve struggled with a LOT in my life including a recent suicide attempt that left me hospitalized, and I’ve suffered through abuse, trauma, grief and loss, self harm, severe depression and anxiety, panic attacks… but I’ve also noticed that ever since I was little I can’t keep up with relationships and my friends always leave me. I have never know why. My mom and I think that I may have BPD. But I don’t know how to ask my therapist or doctor if they can check me for it. Help.. I’m also going to intensive outpatient soon, and lots of group therapy. Please help
- Thank you for writing in to TeenCentral and sharing your story. It sounds as if you are feeling maybe a little uncertain about some things in your life and you are looking for answers. That can be a very challenging and frustrating experience.
- It is your right as a consumer to explain everything you said here to your therapist because it may help them to have your perspective. Sometimes having a name to what you’re experiencing is helpful because then you can understand better and learn more about how to cope. But you don’t have to label yourself. “You” are not your diagnosis, whatever it turns out to be. You are much more than that. As much as it can be helpful to know what you have, and have a name for it, it can also work to your disadvantage and cause you to be overly focused on it. So just keep that in mind as you talk with your parents and with your therapist. Who you are is separate them any label anyone puts on you. Who you are is much more than any illness that you ever have or experience. Who you are goes way beyond any moment in time where you made a choice, possibly a mistake in dealing with the stress of life. You, yourself, will always be separate from all of that.
- If you are not comfortable having this conversation with your therapist, perhaps you could practice having the conversation with your mother or family member ahead of time. Sometimes it’s beneficial to put this all down on paper and use it as a guide to talk with your therapist.
- Since you mentioned that you did have a suicide attempt recently we just want to mention that there’s a great support hotline called the Crisis Textline. All you do is text “hello” to 741741 and strike up a conversation. They are available 24 hours a day seven days a week and 365 days a year. So if you ever start having really scary feelings again please text them. You can also call or chat with them online. There’s plenty of ways to reach them. You can visit our help page for more information.
THINGS TO DO LATER:
- Check out our LEARN tab on our TeenCentral site as we have information on many of the topics you have discussed here such as grief and loss, depression and anxiety and relationships.
- After you do that, you might like trying some of our tips on our TOOLS tab to help you through some of the tough times such as Making Hard Decisions, Self positive talk, social skills, or creating a Support Plan.
- Lastly, consider some other natural outlets in your life to help you out. Are there any sports, arts or hobbies you are interested in that could make you feel more positive every day? Maybe you could journal and use what you write to help your therapist understand exactly what your feeling. Journaling is something that we recommend to a lot of our writers. It’s so therapeutic and helpful especially when you’re going through really really challenging times. Check out this What’s New Blog about how to start a practice of journaling for reducing stress. We think it would be really helpful to you. Thank you again for sharing with our community, we wish you well.