How I Wish

How I Wish

I am a secondary school student. Which means, I’m 13 years old. During one of my secondary school periods, just before the September holidays, something bad happened. Something very bad happened. I felt that I was crushed into pieces. I have a crush, but he doesn’t know that I like him. Some of my friends took the advantage of me being absent from school, and pulled a prank. When I returned, I found a letter under my desk. It was from my crush. He said he liked me.  I was so happy and was in high spirits on that day. Until it happened… I wrote back to him. When he saw it, my friend told me that he threw that note away. I didn’t think much more about it because, obviously, throw the paper away, since you know how how I feel. You don’t have to keep it anymore. Then, my friend told me he went to another girl, and they were laughing. I didn’t think much, until school ended. I got a call from another friend. They were saying something that my love was not true and I heard laughter. After having my lunch in school, I left. I wanted my dad to pick me up so they wouldn’t see me at the interchange, because they were hanging out there. I told my friends about this, and they were right.  I was naive. My friend even said that his handwriting was not sincere enough. It was messy and it was written on a foolscap paper. When I reached home, I went into the bathroom and broke down. I felt betrayed. I thought they were my good friends.  One of them was in my primary school and came together to this secondary school. I could not believe she helped them make me fall into this trap and didn’t tell me! Now, luckily, not everyone knows. If they would know then I would become a laughing stock. After that day, I really wanted to change school. I didn’t want to see any of them again, including my crush, after such an embarrassing thing happened. All I could do was tell them I also did a prank and had another crush in tuition, which was a lie. I still like him. Not everyone believed me, but at least I managed to convince some to believe. How I wish that I was not naive and foolish enough to fall for that stupid trap.
Next situation. I am already having a bad time in school, and at home is another drama. My sister is the cause. She is 9 years younger than me, so my grandparents will pamper her. They think it’s fine, but I feel it’s super biased. Last time, if I am in a place together with my sister and she starts crying, no matter what I did, they would be angry at me as if it’s my fault. They would make me feel like I’m useless,  They say I’m good for nothing, but they say it all in Chinese. Next, my parents are not as biased, but they buy a lot of things for her. They even allow my sister to use a phone herself. It was my mum’s old phone so she could watch YouTube. I got my phone when I was 12, but she got it at 3. My grandparents will always pamper her like a princess. When I do something wrong, they will tell my parents. When my sister does something wrong and it is worse than my mistake, nothing happens to her!  All I can do is feel jealous. How I wish my sister was not born. I wish that she didn’t exist so I can at least have some peace at home. I am also sick of my parents forcing me to study. They are not to the extent that I need to get A’s; I just don’t like studying, I like doing other things, such as drawing, arts and craft, etc. They want me to study. I don’t even have a proper room for myself and no study table. I can either study on the floor, on the bed, or at the living hall, which is always noisy. My parents are still treating me like a kid, even though I’m 13! They still keep my kid’s account no matter how much I tell them. I need privacy, especially being a teen.
How I wish that I did not exist. That way, I wouldn’t have to worry about all these problems.  I don’t have thoughts of committing suicide, but I just really wish that next year the embarrassing situation would be gone forever, my family would improve on their behavior, and my sister would stop being a princess and complaining about every single small issue!

CONSIDER THIS:

  • Having a life full of problems can make you feel frustrated and alone. You are smart for facing your troubles so you can get the help you deserve.
  • If you need someone to talk to, you can head to the Teen Central website and click the Help tab to use a hotline or textline. Knowledge is power. You may click the Learn tab then Bullying, Spirituality, Depression or other topics. The Stories tab has stories submitted by other teens and answered by counsellors. The Tools tab has helpful resources for you to download. You may also speak to a trusted therapist, religious leader or school counsellor.
  • You can let negative people and bad situations make you a stronger person. Life isn’t fair but this can work to your advantage in a positive way.
  • It’s okay if a crush isn’t interested in you because there are plenty of others. You can look forward to the future by enjoying your life and just being a kid.
  • Younger siblings can be a pain but you can try being grateful for your sister now, so you don’t regret it later on. It’s unfair that your sister is treated better than you by your grandparents and parents. You can try telling your family how you truly feel and maybe they’ll be more sensitive to your feelings. Younger siblings are often treated as favorites by adults because they’re usually more innocent since they’re younger.
  • It’s never acceptable for people, especially those you believe are your friends, to bully you. The good news is that you can find real friends by having a positive mindset and being yourself.
  • Try being positive by repeating positive affirmations to yourself when you feel down. Besides this, read inspiring quotes and write down a few things you’re grateful for in a daily journal. Find something positive to laugh at by reading comics, drawing funny pictures or watching cartoons. Be yourself by doing the activities you enjoy. Stay hopeful for the future by always having something to look forward to.
  • Creativity can help you express your feelings in a healthy way and escape reality by using your imagination. Creative activities include painting, drawing, coloring in a coloring book, creative writing, listening to music or playing a musical instrument.
  • Being more spiritual can make your life more meaningful, help you accept the things you can’t change, and give you peace of mind. Try prayer, meditation or yoga if you want to. You can also attend church services.
  • Volunteering for a cause you care about can help you forget about your own troubles, find friends who share your goals and help those less fortunate. A few ways to volunteer include walking dogs at a local pet shelter, sending cards to kids with serious illnesses, donating old toys or clothing to a homeless shelter, or writing for a nonprofit. You can also foster or adopt a pet from a pet shelter to give a dog or cat a loving home. Find volunteer opportunities you can do from home, online or in your area by visiting websites like Volunteermatch.org.

HELP YOURSELF:

  • In what ways can having a positive mindset improve your life now and in the future?
  • How can only spending time with people who genuinely care about you as a person help you feel more positive?
  • In what ways can being more grateful for your life and loving yourself more be helpful in your daily life?