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I Don’t Understand

By April 18, 2022No Comments

Hey. It’s me again- from ‘crying’. I was right. My best friend did die by suicide. The first couple days I was in shock and crying, then I would go in and out of being numb and crying fits, then now I’m just in denial stage. I can’t stop messaging her even though I know she’s gone I just keep ranting- hoping maybe she will say just kidding! I’m still alive. I mean I know that denial is part of grief, and I understand mental Illnesses- we met in a mental hospital- but I just wish… it’s not fair! I don’t understand.


  • So glad that you’ve written us back and given an update on what’s happening as you find out more about the situation. It seems like you do know a lot about the grief cycle and how you move in from shock to denial. We can understand wishing things were different. That totally makes sense.
  • The act of suicide has a ripple effect on many people in the person’s life including friends and family. If you’ve never heard of this movie I highly recommend that you take a look. It’s called The Ripple Effect. Kevin Hines is as suicide survivor from jumping off the Golden gate Bridge in San Francisco. He talks about how even suicide attempts can have a major impact on people in the person’s life. CLICK HERE to learn more about this movie and how you can watch it. It may really help you.
  • I know I’ve already given you information about help lines so I won’t repeat that information here. But please make sure that if you ever are having dark and scary thoughts for yourself that you reach out to someone and talk to them about those feelings.


  • Losing someone this way is traumatic in a person’s life. Like you said. you will be in shock at first probably for the first 72 hours to a week. After that it’ll take 2 to 3 weeks for you to start feeling like yourself again. During that time you may experience various different symptoms that you may not connect to the situation right away. Some of these symptoms may include sleep disturbance, eating disturbance, headaches, stomach aches, and various other physical problems. You also may have difficulty concentrating on things. You may find yourself crying at times that it doesn’t seem like it would be normal for you to cry or laughing at times that it wouldn’t seem normal to laugh. These are all typical symptoms of being exposed to a traumatic event. And they normally lasts 2 to 4 weeks after being exposed to something like this. If you find yourself not improving after 2 to 4 weeks or getting worse, then you should seek out the help of a professional.
  • Right now is a good time for you to be taking care of yourself as you grieve the loss of your friend. I know it’s probably not something you want to think about, but it’s true. Make sure you are getting enough rest and that you are remembering to eat. Make sure you’re getting outside at least once a day and that you are breathing deeply so that you can think clearly. It may sound silly at first but in the long run you will understand that as you’re walking through this traumatic time that those little things really matter a lot and it will help you. CLICK HERE And read one of our blogs on deep breathing. It’s a very small thing that a person can do that will help them a lot especially when they are feeling anxious and upset.