I want to help her but she knows it all at 16

By December 18, 2017No Comments

I want to help her but she knows it all at 16, she says she has no respect for anyone but old folks. Her behaviors require police intervention but she doesn’t learn from her impulsive behaviors. I’m not her mother. She has been in and out of psych facilities and services for the last 8 years. She has taken my property without asking and has endangered peers by taking pills, knives back to her facility. I don’t know how to get her to open up and share.
She is disrespectful in her tone, words. Her theory is if they or you don’t like it you can go away. She lies and blames her behavior on others as a precursor to her engaging in negative behaviors. I’m empathetic to her and her past.


  • It is very hard to know what to do when someone you care about is causing so much destruction in their lives in spite of everything. It seems like some people who are destructive have had some sort of trauma occur in their life. So they feel the need to lash out to get attention, any kind of attention.
  • Maybe you can talk with her about why she feels like she needs to act out in this way. What is her goal in causing such havoc in her life? If she does not have an answer that is okay but maybe help her start thinking about the why.
  • Maybe you can start doing something she likes to do to help her get out of her shell a bit like maybe exercising or going to a movie or maybe a poetry slam to help release some anger or provide an alternative to her aggressive behaviors through physical activity of some sort like kick boxing.
  • Maybe just being by her side and not asking her anything and letting her direct the decisions could help her feel safe enough to open up about what is going on.
  • Maybe she would be more open to being in a group therapy of peers her same age who are struggling with behavioral issues and that can help her feel not so isolated or picked on maybe in her world.


  • What would happen if you initiated some sort of conversation on why she is acting out so much? What is her ultimate goal?
  • What would happen if you started doing some activities she likes doing that are in a safe and loving environment?
  • What would happen if you just sat with her just so she knows that you are there for her as a friend? What would happen if she started talking what would you say?
  • What would happen if you help her find a group therapy place of her peers that are going through behavioral issues like she is having?