I voiced to my partner how I don’t feel like I’m enough sometimes. They do so much for me and all I do is work. My mom does so much and I just get mad at her. My best friends ask to hangout and I always say I can’t. I may have voiced this at an inappropriate time, which was after my partner told me I don’t communicate well and always use the wrong voice tone. I am autistic so voice tone, volume, facial expressions, and being monotone are things I struggle with. I didn’t bring up how I was feeling because of what they said though.
They said I’m falling deeper and deeper into a hole and they don’t want me to drag them behind. We’re even engaged, and I told them I don’t want to be the person to do that to them, they deserve better. But they tell me that it’s always the same. “I’m tired.” “I don’t feel good.” “What’s the point?” Those are all things I say apparently all the time, when it isn’t all the time, it just happens because I’m not good at acknowledging when good things happen out loud, but I do realize them. I don’t know what to do or how to change my negative mindset that they can’t be around anymore.
HOW TO HELP YOURSELF NOW
- First, I would like to thank you for having the courage to share your story with TeenCentral community. Be proud of yourself for reaching out for help, because it can be difficult to share sensitive information with others.
- Talking to the people you feel are getting mad/frustrated with you is a great place to start. Let them know you are struggling with this and would like help. You will be surprised that usually if you are up front with people and ask for help they will help you. Reach out to your parents, partner and/or friends, explain to them how this is making you feel.
- Having said that we know it can be hard to know what to say to make things better. So, we have this super helpful tool that helps you plan difficult conversations. CLICK HERE and then download to use!
- Maybe sometimes you don’t want to talk to the people you are in conflict with and need immediate help. If so, we always recommend texting the Crisis Line by texting “HOME” to 741741. They are great at helping you sort out your feelings when you are really struggling.
COPING WITH LIFE
Reading your story, we hear that you are struggling with several aspects of life including social situations, emotional regulation, perhaps mood swings (?), relationship difficulties and perhaps other things you didn’t mention. Overall, coping with life through the lens of autism we understand must be challenging. So here are some suggestions.
- Visit the Tools section on this website and take a look at the Social Skills panel. It has suggestions that you might be able to use. Like, starting or ending a conversation, clarifying when you don’t understand something that’s being said or done, and many more. Under the Learn tab you will find an Autism section. It can help you explain to people how things are different and challenging for you.
- Journaling before you speak to get your thoughts out on paper might be a good way of expressing yourself.
- It is very important to work on yourself and feel more confident in how you communicate with others. In the Tools section there is also a tab called Positive Self Talk. Check out ways you can improve how you feel about yourself.
- Always, remember to keep your chin up and look for solutions that will work best for you. Keep growing and keep learning that’s how we get better!